29 January 2007

leg rodeo rocks

my world is spinning at an alarming rate of speed. I wish I could talk about what's causing all the spinning but I can't. I really can't. what I need is a break from all the spinning. so I am going to tell you six things about me that are relatively unknown. making lists relaxes me but also, the lovely 62cherry wanted to know. I'm hoping that if I take the time to slow down, think about these things and write them down, then maybe the head-spinning will slow to something more manageable. at this point, I'd settle for a relaxed swivel.


1. I mentally redecorate every house I walk into. even if it's perfect. even if I like it just the way it is. and when I'm telling you I like it, I'm also dreaming up new colors to paint your walls. like buttercup yellow. or water pitcher green. or tangerine dream orange. or whatever.

2. I am ashamed that I don't know how to sew and desperately want to learn. I dream of making wildy colorful patchwork dresses for ava and fantastic purses and a-line skirts for myself.

3. I used to think mimes were cool.

4. I have forbidden myself to visit web MD. too many vague symptoms listed that I may (or may not) seem to have, which of course leads to further fevered exploration. in five short minutes, I am convinced I am suffering from any number of diseases. days and nights are spent worrying, eyes wide open, blankets pulled up to the chin. and then the worrying makes me so sick that I can't tell where it begins or ends. people, I haven't always been like this. something happened when I became a mother and hit my thirties. all I can say is that I am making a concerted effort to mellow out. until then-- no web md, no leisurely trips down the medical aisle at the book store. seriously, I'm not even going to link to web md. and everyone knows I am as link-happy as they come.

5. from 2001 to 2005, I had a booth space in a local antique shop where I sold old travel memorabilia, mid-century lovelies and other vintage goodies. and I loved doing it. absolutely loved it.

6. I am really good at 'leg rodeo'. which is when somebody tries to hold onto your legs while you kick them like crazy all over the place. the object of the game is to make the person lose grip of your legs in the shortest amount of time possible. this is a game that only siblings could come up with, yes? both brothers refuse to believe they can be thrown across the room by me and my freakishly strong gams, but I always win. EVERY TIME. I am unbeatable. a skill like this is bound to come in handy at some point in life. I'd be willing to put money on that.

I'm supposed to tag five people but I've never been really good at that. and I think maybe I was only supposed to list five things instead of six. hard to pay attention to specifics when your head is spinning out of control.

also, I miss summer.


  1. I get that feeling of spinning sometimes too. It comes to me when I lay my head on the pillow, from no where I am on the merry ground and spinning....
    you just have to know that the spinning is going to take you somewhere new, like a drill the spinning moves the dirt and puts you someplace new and good.

  2. thank-you sweet, sweet Andrea :)
    I have not sent your parcel YET! One day it will arrive (soon) and hopefully make your day!!
    It's funny, it's summer here in Aus and I can't wait for winter.....

  3. Not really sure what you mean...You can't talk about the spinning because you find it hard to put into words or you don't wish to talk about it?
    I also have experienced the changes that come with age...and motherhood. It took me quite a while to come to terms with the anxieties that were doggin' me and manifesting themselves as vague illnesses and just a general sense of not being myself and of something being 'wrong.' I now feel good and positive and, well, happy. I have found things that relax me when I need it, and [and this is a big one] I have given myself permission to practice positive selfishness....permission to say no to something or someone that is not good for me. I found that by trying to be what others wanted or what I thought they wanted me to be [their idea of a good friend, mother, PTA member, school volunteer etc...] was depleting myself....my soul, my positive self. It took a long time, but I was able to learn to say yes, to myself; yes to being the mother I wanted to be; yes to the things that I thought were important for me and my family and the heck with the rest. And I have found it progressivly easier to do. Now, I feel more control over my life and not one person has died cuz I said no.Good luck, friend.


  4. Number 4 and I are close and intimate and not at all friends because the worry and torment now extends to my child, I could weep even writing this.

    I promise to never talk about my medical knowledge if you don't talk about yours and I'll never ask you 'what do you think this is' because the two of us trying to discern an illness would surely be the death of us.


  5. I hear you my dear. I keep hoping things will slow a bit so I can enjoy it all and not just feel as though I'm playing keep up... I owe you an email and it's my to-do list for tomorrow! (I'm with you on the sewing. I want to know. I've tried and failed more times then I care to admit!)

  6. my son had a health scare last month and webmd and i developed a bad relationship. a bad place.

    would you like to come over for a sewing lesson and mentally repaint my walls?

  7. I smiled when I read number 1. My husband and I do this. Who knows how many homes we have remodeled over the years...

  8. You and Jes NEED to come to my suburban oasis and I'll teach you both how to sew and you ladies can teach me about photography. Deal?

  9. Breathe, my friend, three deep slow ones. It is how I've brought PickleBoy around for years.

    (and remember to trust this crazy universe, too)


  10. thanks for the kind words, everyone.

    ness-- you are so right and even more than you know. so much so that I'm wondering if you have some sort of supernatural powers.

    justine-- much obliged, girlie! tickled that you tagged me. :) and no worries about the bag! I have every confidence it will come at just the right time.

    kitschen table (julie)-- what I mean is that I'm not at liberty to talk about it at this point in time. I will eventually be able to let the cat out of the bag. hopefully. does that make a little more sense? so cryptic, I know. and thank you for sharing your thoughts-- so insightful and inspiring. thank you so much for the encouragement... I so appreciate it.

    kristen-- so glad I'm not alone. you made me laugh even though it's not completely funny. but it is. you know what I mean. also, I imagine jes and I would have a ball learning how to sew over at your place... if only!

    jes-- it seems like january has been crazy for everyone! what gives? it's usually the dreariest, slowest feeling month of all. no worrries about the email! whenever you get around to it. :)

    stephanie-- the more I hear, the more I'm convinced web md is a dangerous, dangerous place. also, I would LOVE to come over to your house and learn how to sew. and dream up new colors for your rooms. I'm hoping. :)

    kristine-- funny, isn't it? and quite addictive too.

    les-- I'm trying... I'm trying. still helps to hear it though. thank you. xo

  11. ...summer will be here before ya know it...

  12. i am getting the funniest picture of you leg rodeo-ing....

    i think the spinning will stop. it has to. just remember that when you spin like crazy on the grass and lie down the sky looks amazing as you come down from that dizzy high..... xo

  13. Boy, can I relate to #4! I do SO not love being a hypochondriac...And it got worse for me, too, when I became a mom. Just sendin' some empathy your way...

  14. leg rodeo - never knew the name....and can only imagine the whole thing going down.

    totally understand the webmd thing - not alone there.

    hope the spinning stops soon!

  15. What an interesting post!

    I am also a non-sewer, although it’s not something I’ve really longed to do. I can embroider. And I can work wonders with glue and staples. But I’m sure if you really want to, you will learn to sew some day. Sometimes it’s just hard to fit in one more thing when you’re already busy and you have little kids, and your head is spinning.

    About the online medical info. sites, I agree. They should all have a big disclaimer at the top of the page that says “Please talk to your doctor before you freak out.” I’ve had 2 different friends who went online and diagnosed their own “brain tumors!”

    How do you feel about mimes now?

    Thank you for adding “leg rodeo” to my vocabulary. I’ve seen my 20 year old son and his girlfriend do this, and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. (She wins every time!)

    Oh, and about the spinning: Have you ever heard this song? (scroll down to "Dreidel". Sorry it’s just a clip)

    And read the lyrics here.