17 April 2006


I took a walk this morning and:

1. listened to ezra turn his new bubble gun on and off. on and off. on and off.

2. saw a gorgeous butterfly on the stem of a weed and I swear to you, it opened its wings the moment I began to shoot. like it knew. took way too many photographs of it and realized I am obsessed with the macro lens effect (then again, I may have already come to that conclusion yesterday when I found myself taking close-ups of a silver sequin on my skirt). but if a butterfly opens its wings for you, people-- you know, you don't mess around.

3. got whistled at by passing construction workers and sort of enjoyed it.

4. contemplated peeking into ava's classroom windows as we passed her school.

5. wondered if I did the right thing, giving into the mind-bending screams of ezra, letting him wear sneakers four sizes too big. will I be paying for this in the weeks to come? will he only want to wear red converse high tops (size 10) from now until he actually fits into them? I kind of don't really care.

6. walked by my dream house. which looks like a tiny cobblestone cottage where hobbits might live.

7. experienced pangs of anxiety as I thought about all that must be tackled in the next couple of weeks. had to stop and take deep breaths and try not to freak out in front of the woman watering her lawn.

8. fantasized about traveling, about getting on a plane and flying somewhere. anywhere. planned out nondescript escape for about two blocks.

9. savored the few moments ezra napped. sat on a park bench and wrote many words down on paper. mainly in the way of a grocery list, but still.

10. contemplated a change in hair color. contemplated doing it myself.

11. took in the magnificent smell of fresh air. realized that I (personally) did not smell so good. thought I might even fall under the category of 'people that stink'. again, didn't really care.

12. passed too many lovely gardens to mention and felt a little jealous, a little wistful. especially since I used to have such a fantastic garden at our old house. remembered that this time of year was highly enjoyable-- watching new blooms and healthy green leaves pop up and such. I planted only what I loved and so there were cosmos in shades of fuschia and white, shasta daisies, black-eyed susans and purple coneflowers in so much abundance. I passed our old house last friday and saw that the current renters (or maybe the landlord) had replaced my garden with shrubbery. SHRUBBERY. I wanted to vomit. but mostly, my heart broke. decided that I DON'T LIKE THESE PEOPLE. to whomever dug up my perennials and replaced them with something that rhymes with rubbery (and they are the ugliest, most boring shrubs I've ever seen): I DON'T LIKE YOU. I'm one step away from knocking on your door and telling you so.

13. worked up quite a sweat, further contributing to the not smelling so great. but sweating is good.

14. realized how essential these daily walks are to maintaining (more than adequate) mental health. really.


  1. What a lovely day! (except for the Satan renters/landlord - shrubs?? Be assured that they are going to H. E. Double Hockey Sticks.)

  2. i so very much love peeking in on your blog every single time you write. just thought i'd stop back by and tell you that, and not be rude by NOT telling you that! i love the notion of taking a photo of one single sequin on your skirt. believe me, i do understand. o, i do.
    u r wunderful, keep up the musing walks.

  3. Love reading your list A...

  4. i can't stand it - we just think the same... i'd hate the people who replaced my garden w/ shrubs too...

    and i've been thinking about a hair color change too.... hmmmm

    keep making these lists.... :)

  5. I think I need a walk. The next couple of weeks (exams) and whatever comes after (no idea what I'm going to do with my life after graduation) are freaking me out so much I'm getting chest pains. Yikes!

  6. oooooooh, we're big fans of walking now that it's spring. i swear i'd go crazy without the walks. babies cries seem so much softer out in the big, big world.

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  8. Fifty two years and I have NEVER been whistled at by construction workers. Hard to believe, I know.

  9. girlfriend - I'm going to the Starbar on May 9th (yes, after dress rehearsal of the almighty BIG MAY show) so are you up for it? also, let's make a pact that we will get together for a walk and a hair-dye soon. I used to dye my hair (and all my friends' hairs) in college. yes yes yes!!! love you...miss you...

  10. I need to get more walks in ~ managing about 3 a week which is good but still, everyday is best for my muddled brain.
    I hate the perennial lifters too, esp. since I'm trying so hard to make my garden pretty and in the process, I've been digging up shrubbery and other ugly, cheap things that grow well in the shade. I'm determined to 1) find nice shrubbery (the word makes me laugh, monty python style) and 2) to find pretty perennials that grow in shade. Both have to actually, our town is named after the abundant trees growing here. Any suggestions?

  11. you've just inspired me to do something with my own wasteland of a backgarden. other than plant some grass, that is.

  12. i am so missing daily walks after this post. you have such a great community to walk in. and i found this post very interestesting. have a great day!

  13. heehee
    great picture
    and too funny
    about the
    rhyming with

  14. You're writing, it's always so spot on. Truthful and wistful-

  15. Oh what a fantastic/insightful/calming walk...loved your photo. It went along so well with your thoughts.

  16. i love this post so much. i feel like you took us with you on your walk. and i agree......walks are so good for mental health.

  17. Fools! Shrubbery. It's like watering your lawn during a drought. Or even having a lawn where you shouldn't. Sacrilege.
    Nice aphids ;) did you notice those?
    I missed my walk today. So, thanks for sharing yours!

  18. Took a walk tonight as well - the sun was actually out today in Oregon! I loved reading your list and thinking about what I would have listed from the thoughts on my walk tonight. I actually was practicing descriptive writing in my head and trying to come up with ways to describe the scunge on the top of the pond and how it looked in the setting sun. Came up with, "a bejeweled lace of organic scunge glowed golden in the light of the sun." (Gufaw! Ack!) Oh well, it was fun to think of something other than the piles of laundry, little league schedules, work, etc.

    Great blog! Thanks for sharing your photos!

  19. i can't even remember the last time i was whistled at...*sigh*...

  20. I can totally relate to #12
    this spring is wonderfully heart breaking bitter sweet longing for dirt to dig in again
    I can't even walk past the house we moved from last fall
    we were there for 5 years
    we loved and cherished every inch
    the gardens were our heavenly refuge

    btw - I can't remember how I found your blog, probably through art or photography links

    beautiful photo of the butterfly

  21. At our old house, I had painted the front door a cranberry red. It was fantastic, I thought. The first thing the new tenants did after they moved in was was paint the door white. That's the painting equivalent to shrubbery. Balloon-popping and visionless.

  22. If I was a construction worker, I would whistle at you.

  23. Wow, I sat at a desk all day, clicking away at a computer screen. I was able to cross off most of the items on my "to-do" list, but compared to your post I feel like I didn't accomplish anything that was actually worth while. From now on I will remember this post when asked, "what did you do today" and I want to crap out and simply say, "nothing much" we do so many things each day that we take for granted...thanks for the great read.

  24. ooh, i love an inside view of hula's mind. i just went for a run and had similar thoughts wandering thoughts and lust of travel.

  25. hey did you take that with your canon? great shot! i too take walks past my dream home, a rancher bungalow - very small actually, i'm not asking for much - just that untouched rancher with the wooden planked walls in the living room and that white brick fireplace. (oh ya and the copper pendulant lamp).....thanks for taking us on your walk.

  26. I *loved* this post. The picture of the hammy butterfly is beautiful (s/he must be hammy if it opens up for a camera, right?). Thanks for sharing this!

  27. I may have already asked you this, I'm not sure. But have you considered writing a book? Your writing is wonderful--your words just draw me in. Maybe a children's book. About a butterfly.