30 April 2010

list thirteen: things I do not like

52 weeks of lists and you had to know this one was coming:

1. cilantro. I'm sorry, cilantro. I want to like you, I really do. but you are not on the good side of my gag reflex.

2. fluorescent lighting. or most overhead lighting, really. because turn on an overhead light and pretty much everyone looks dead. but switch on a couple of lamps and everyone looks pretty. or at the very least, alive. also, lamps totally bring the cozy. I am a big fan of things that bring the cozy.

3. too much cologne. there are people out there drowning in cologne and I don't understand it. also, stores like abercrombie and fitch are pumping desperate amounts of cologne into the air. and it's so wrong I can't even talk about it.

4. wet socks. the moisture makes me loco.

5. magazines like maxim. because it's hard enough out there already.

6. packed movie theatres. because a packed movie theatre means I will inevitably have to sit next to a stranger. which means I will have to share the armrest and hold my purse in my lap. it also means I will not be able to put my feet up on the seat in front of me. and I really need to put my feet up. I just do.

7. black jellybeans. not a fan of the black jellybeans.

8. laundry. nothing sucks the air out of my day like the endlessness of laundry.

9. public automatic water faucets. I am so on board with the whole water conservation thing but would very much like it if I didn't have to perform an elaborate hand jive every time I need a little water to wash my hands. I'm serious. it's out of control.

10. long fingernails. I don't know what happened but I cannot take long fingernails. not even a little bit.

11. big budget action films. nothing puts me to sleep like a big budget action film. I will never need sleeping pills so long as big budget action films exist. thank you hollywood.

12. bras with hidden agendas. because pretty much every bra I own (or have ever owned, for that matter) seems to do something completely different than what was promised. everyday is a showdown, everyday is a battle. and the bras, they are winning the battle. the bras, they are beginning to break my spirit.

(thirteen down, thirty-nine to go)

46 comments:

  1. I have to agree on all but cilantro and black jelly beans. love, love, love both. the easter bunny even brings a full bag of black jelly beans just for me! of course no one picks through my basket for them like they do the reese's peanut butter cups!

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  2. I am so with you on the overhead light thing and the heavy cologne. We call that "foo-foo juice". I can hardly pass the Safora store in the mall without getting an instant headach.

    please pass me all your black jelly beans now, thank you.

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  3. Andrea, I am loving your lists. They are super good for *my own* self-reflection. Now, isn't that nice of me? To come read your blog and think of nought but me? :)

    A tiny do not like list for me would be:

    1. suntan lotion
    2. walking down the aisles at a supermarket: I feel like I'm at a carnival.
    3. clowns. creepy.

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  4. Agree with you on so many of these points. Especially number 1, that herb is evil and should be banned, or at least clearly marked. I find it hides in salads and garnishes to sneak up on me unawares...

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  5. oh hula. this is good. thanks for making me laugh on this wretched awful day. :)

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  6. Wet socks and black jellybeans are at the top of my "things I do not like" list. Also: green tea (it tastes like dirt to me); things that smell like desserts but aren't actually desserts (lotions, candles, lip balms, etc); watching hockey with my husband. :)

    Love your lists! :)

    p.s. My "verify" word is workity, which I think I'm going to adopt because I love it so much.

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  7. I love this one! I agree with you on most (except for delicious cilantro). Long nails drive me over the edge. I go crazy if my nails go past my finger tips and I get a bit vomity looking at others with long fingernails. I know this is weird, but it is who I am.

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  8. Fluorescent lights and their sick green flicker are the worst! I blame my poor performance in school on those lights! To bad US want's to make incandescent lights illegal. Ugh.
    And cilantro tastes like dishsoap. So I love your top two!

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  9. Long fingernails on men. REPULSIVE!!!!!

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  10. i am with you on every single one. i would also add clowns. egads. and automatic toilets. nothing worse. nothing. ok, maybe lots of things but really truly UNPLEASANT.

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  11. Wet socks and long fingernails-- so agree! Ewwww! Like nails on a chalkboard.

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  12. definitely agree with you on everything!!!

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  13. excellent list! i was beginning to think i was the only person in the world who detested cilantro. yuck!

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  14. so freakin' funny! long fingernails are a HUGE turnoff for me... yuck! black jellybeans??! they're the best! :)

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  15. this is hillarious and so very true. especially about the bras! oh will there ever be a perfect bra?!

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  16. oh, the torturous bra issue! a struggle all my life. i think i was out sick when they had the class on "how to love your bra" in school or something. for every bra i buy and like, there are twenty i hate and detest. and the "bra rule" says that if i find one i like, they will discontinue that style the day after i buy the last one on the planet.

    and don't get me started on underwear.

    love your lists. keep 'em coming!

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  17. lamp lighting is the best. period. i even had lamps in my classroom because i hated the overhead lights!

    cologne/perfume makes me gag. seriously. i get physically ill.

    the maxim and the movie theatre thing...yes! i am with you on both.

    and gah! fingernails. blech. if i am out and notice that my nails have grown just a tiny bit, i want to rush home and trim them. i am the same with my son, who i have to ply with chocolate just to get him to sit still long enough to tame his claws. hee...

    and the bra thing? don't even get me started. especially since i have been a nursing mama. bras and me...we just don't get along.

    loved this list! and thank you for letting me vent and relate. xo

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  18. So with you on 10 and 11 -- long fingernails make me insane and action movies are SO, SO boring. I cannot tolerate either!

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  19. cilantro is genetic... seriously. Either you love it or you hate it, but it's beyond your control.
    Great list... makes me wonder if I could do one so concise... thoughts to ponder. I am in total agreement with the cologne... it's up there with smoking... who still does that?

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  20. #12. Yes ma'am, another broken spirit here.

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  21. i second all of these (though i only slightly dislike laundry and black jelly beans) but the rest i was nodding yes while reading them! love this list!

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  22. 1. you're hilarious. always.
    2. wet socks. cringe.

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  23. Oh no, cilantro?! My friend told me that for him, cilantro tastes or smells like the way a stinkbug smells? Is it a genetic thing for you too?

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  24. loved your hate list... speaking of movie theaters in New Zealand, some rows don't have enough drink holders per seats... four seats 3 holders. In a sold out show that really erks me!!!

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  25. I totally agree on black jelly beans! Ewww... And packed movie theaters. I always end up sitting in the front row and leave with a real pain in my neck.

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  26. Gosh, every time I visit your blog I'm instantly inspired. What a fantastic idea, this 52 lists project. Too, too cool. I made myself a 23 before 24 list a while back and have been working on crossing things off.

    You're so awesome! Love the blog.

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  27. oh, man. this might be my favorite list so far. made me laugh out loud!

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  28. Lol you are hilarious! I think we share a lot of the same dislikes :D

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  29. we would get along really well...you could have the all the colored jellybeans and i would take the black ones off your hands for you...

    and we'd eat these while seeing a movie in an almost empty theatre where we could spread out with our feet in front of us !!!

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  30. I agree with so many of these, especially the heavy cologne. Gag-o-rama!!!

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  31. Such a great list, in that it underscores the seemingly benign things in life that irk so much! I love cilantro and black jelly beans, but the rest I am so down with. On bras, well it's such a personal thing. Your size, shape, and a seemingly billion other factors, but I found my bra holy grail with Timpa. It's a brand from the Netherlands (I think), very affordable, pretty but basic, comfortable, and it doesn't try and conform my breasts to some shape I'm not. I found them at a lingerie store in my town but I know they are available online too.

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  32. gag reflex... although i loooooooove cilantro... i understand your reserve... :)

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  33. Love the list!
    Especially the long finger nails and black jelly beans!
    YUCK!
    YUCK!
    YUCK!

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  34. so funny.
    I love these lists.

    But, I have to say I am on the side of liking cilantro.

    But, perfumy air and loud, obnoxious music make me turn and leave a shop immediately.

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  35. oh, #12. it made me laugh so. laugh in its honest-to-goodness truth.

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  36. lol. the last list item the bras was hilarious. they are such tricky thing, aren' they?

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  37. can I come over and follow you around? I like you.

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  38. Totally agree with #6. I love going to see movies--but if that happens, I'm simply unhappy. HATE black jelly beans too. They should just leave them out. And, for wet socks it is a dislike, but I also detest wearing any socks to bed. yuck!

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  39. Excellent. Can we add 1. wedgies, 2. traffic and 3. having braces as an adult? Now that I'm at work, I'm left dealing with only one, thank goodness.

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  40. Oh the truth of the bra agenda. Love your lists!

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  41. Have you read this article in the NY times about why people don't like cilantro? http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/dining/14curious.html
    so funny:)

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  42. #4 really made me laugh. I'm the same way. I'm also having an issue with #12.

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  43. Two things for you:

    #1 I think the cilantro problem is genetic. You have some special gene that makes cilantro taste like soap. It tastes like soap, no?

    #2 You have to go to lille, on burnside. You will be intimidated, and it will cost so so much more than you ever thought a bra should, but the lady there can end the bra war. She can give you a bra with no agenda except to keep things organized but lose, tidy but sexy. Plus, no formaldehyde! Which has been used in V.S. bras, all you ladies should know. My friend was part of the suit; she got boils! I know, damn. If you really don't like expensive bra stores, though, you might be stuck.

    I am thinking maybe you need some kind of subtle superhero outfit for the year of lists. The Listmaker?

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  44. I've been so busy getting ready to move, that I haven't been keeping up with your blog. I'm glad I visited tonight. This list is amazing.

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  45. Re laundry: May I suggest putting up a clothes line if you have the space? I used to despise doing laundry, particularly the taking out of the dryer and folding part. But, I love hanging things on the line to dry. I hang them according to how I will be putting them away. And then, when it comes time to take them down, I take pleasure once again in being outside, taking the items off the line, folding them gently, and placing them in the laundry basket. Then, I just walk through the back door and put things away as I pass through the rooms.

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  46. I love cilantro...even the smell. I can't handle parsley though, bleurgh!

    I used to wear wet socks when the laundry wouldn't dry in time for school.

    Eww I hate long nails too, especially toe nails, so many women I've seen lately with such long toe nails, not a nice look.

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