10 November 2018

friday night

I had the sads last night and nothing helped. not the tater tots, not the hot shower, not the book in bed. not even claire de lune loud in my headphones. sometimes the sads are like that, though. you just have to sit in them for a little while, let yourself feel them.  

I thought about a midnight walk, I thought about cutting my hair. I thought about how good it might feel to take a pair of scissors and cut my braids right off, I thought about the sound the scissors against my hair might make, about the jolt I'd get from the sight of braids in the sink. that jolt appealed to me. 

I thought about writing, about how the push of a pen against paper feels. I thought about posting here. and then I fell into a deep, boneless sleep and now it's morning and there's sunlight and coffee and miraculously, banana bread in the oven. I made it to the other side, braids intact. 

good morning.


  1. Good morning! I have the sads right now. It's so nice when they pass - kind of like when you're sick for so long you forget what daily life is like and then one day you're well and all the little things you took for granted before are now miraculous! Looking forward to that sunlight and coffee. :)

    1. I hope the sads have passed for you too-- hope there's been sunlight and coffee for you. xo

  2. Whenever I have the sads and the thought occurs that I should cut my hair, I know it's PMS talking through my mouth, and it makes me feel better because I know it's not true and it will be better.