01 May 2007

guilty as charged

"wow. this piece of taffy tastes like B.O."

"like what? no it doesn't."

"yes it does. I SWEAR. it tastes like B.O. if B.O. were candy, this is what it would taste like."

"lemme see it."

"what, you don't believe me? why would I lie about something like that? why?"

"hmmm, this one smells like grass. hey why does all this taffy taste weird? that purple piece I just ate was not right. like lavender perfume. or something."

"yeah well, better than B.O."

"where'd we get this taffy anyway?"

"I bought it at that seafood restaurant on saturday. it seemed like the right thing to do."

(he digs through the bowl and tries to find a good piece. one that is not purple. or green. or black.)

"don't bother. you're not going to find a good piece in there."


"because I ate all the good ones, that's why."

"what do you mean by 'good ones'?"

"oh you know. vanilla, banana, strawberry, peanut butter. they're all gone. long gone."

"why? why would you do that?"

"well, I didn't do it on purpose. it just sort of... happened."

(he sighs and digs through the bowl again. finally, he settles on a green piece. one that tastes like grass.)


  1. I can totally hear this conversation in my head.

    Pretty sure he still loves ya, ya big ol' taffy stealer...

  2. This post cracked me up! I've had B.O. tasting taffy myself - now when I go buy taffy I do the pick a mix and buy ONLY the flavors that I like.

    My husband can't understand how/why I have to eat all of the (insert good stuff here) and I explain that 1) I'm not unique in this and 2) it's a girl thing. Now he knows better to comment and if he wants something delicious to last in this house, he hides it. (=

  3. ok, now that you are in oregon you will have to get your taffy at ainslee's in depot bay. my god, it is good, and their other candies are mighty fine too... but their salt water taffy is the best. ever.

  4. This is exactly why at Christmas we have to go to See's [btw you live in the land of See's Chocolates now, you lucky girl] together so we can pick out our own assortments.

  5. heehee...i bet he's forgiven you by now...

  6. Isn't it funny how we know what things like B.O. would taste like? I think some restaurant lemonades taste like gas station bathrooms.

    I think it's funny he kept eating the taffy. As if it might taste better the next time...

  7. It was a rather shocking thing to hear from you, Andrea, that you had a piece of taffy that tasted like B.O. I was like, "What a strange thing to say. She can't be serious."

    Very funny to read this scenario out after living it last night. And I tell ya, it wasn't easy to eat any more taffy after this conversation.

  8. yer

    this is sooooo funny...! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

  9. what was the b.o. taffy supposed to raste like??? strange, but very funny!

  10. funny... I thought this was a conversation between you and Ava at first, but then realized it had to be a conversation between you and Ward... although I pictured Ward as the guilty party. But it was YOU! shame shame shame... ha

  11. do you think they'll make a feet version? what color would that be?

  12. hi~

    been reading your blog for over a year...
    i was wondering how you like portland? we are thinking of making a move out west in the next few months and i just want a newcomers point of view. instant love? eh?

    i have 2 babies and can't imagine raising them in florida!~


  13. "Seemedlike the right thing to do." Har.

  14. You are cracking me up. Completely! BO Taffy!! hardyharhar. I'll be laughing for days just imagining the taste of BO taffy.