well, twelve rolled around last week. twelve. and the day was met (head on, mind you) with donuts, balloons and downtown adventures. the maudlin me wants to get lost in talk about change. about long, spindly legs and bright eyes. about neon earrings and the sharing of shoes. about first dances, first loves, first everything. the maudlin me could go on for hours like this.
I so clearly remember twelve. plus thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and so on and so forth. but twelve. twelve is at the edge of so much. I know this now. I can see it and I can see her, perched right there at the edge. all I really can do is hold her hand (if she'll let me, less and less she lets me) and see her through to the other side of things. which is where? college? adulthood? wherever it is, all I can do is see her through. and I will tell her this when I can and she will roll her eyes sometimes and I'll wince but I'll tell her anyway. because she'll need to hear it. just like I needed to hear it, just like every girl needs to hear it.
oh, twelve.
LOVE.
ReplyDeleteI must say, that girl has one cool mama. I hope she knows that. there will be days when she doesn't believe it (for me, it was the 14-17 years). but your coolness will win out in the end. every time.
ReplyDeleteshe looks like an awesome kid and i can't believe how much she's grown just since i've been following along here.
ReplyDeleteand you're a good mom for telling her anyway. :)
-tina
good stuff. i teared up. :)
ReplyDelete(sniff, sniff) you are such a good mama. :)
ReplyDeleteTwelve...yes, I remember you. And a good thing for your daughter that you remember it too - she'll need someone who understands. :)
ReplyDeletexo
cortnie
such a blessed girl she is. to have you.
ReplyDeleteyou are a good mama...
ReplyDeleteyou are both lucky.
This is precious - the photo and the thoughts. Eleven is looming large here so reading about twelve did me in.
ReplyDeleteThis is touching. :)
ReplyDeleteNeat post, nicely written. Take a look at my recent posts. I enjoy hearing from people. Em xx http://emsdarkroom.blogspot.co.uk/
ReplyDeleteI think yours was the very first blog I ever found and read, when i was pregnant with my daughter. She is now four and I can't believe yours is twelve. The years are flying by at such alarming speed I already find myself wondering how it will be when she too is on that same precipice. Reading your beautiful, poignant words was a great reminder that the most important thing I can do is to be there for her. Thank you.
ReplyDelete