16 July 2012

the good and the alive



I stumbled onto a graffiti writer in an alleyway once. in that meaty, bright-colored san francisco other world they call the mission. I was careful not to disturb him but I wanted to watch. I wanted to shake all those paint cans, every last one. I wanted to ask questions, wanted to take a hundred photographs but I didn't. I barely managed the polaroid.

I think about that moment a lot. I look at the polaroid and remember everything. the smell of the paint, the sound of the aerosol, the quiet of the alleyway. it's important to me.

there are hard things in my life right now. there are great things too but I need to write about the hard things. I'm just not ready yet. seven years into this space and I'm still defining what it is to me, what it isn't. what I share, what I don't. what I'm saying is that it's easier to share polaroids of ice cream signs and graffiti writers right now. and birthday lists. am working on an epic birthday list because it makes me feel good and alive. and right now, I need the good and the alive.

23 comments:

  1. I love graffiti too. I take photos of it all the time and the one time I came across people actually doing it, I didn't want to expose them. Some people call it vandalism, some call it art. The differance is a judgement. I think it adds great texture to the city. I made a little video using a collection of my graffiti photos, which is on my blog on my newly minted videography page, on the sidebar, if you're interested. They were all taken here in Vancouver, BC.

    It's hard deciding how much to share and how much is personal. I mark 8 years of blogging next month. I am still undecided about it. You're not alone in that.

    Thanks for sharing the spray paint photo. It made me happy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks so much, lelainia. huge fan of graffiti, am married to a former graff writer, have great respect for it. must, must check your video out.

      and happy 8 years of blogging. that's no small feat, lady.

      Delete
  2. I love you, Andrea hula seventy girl.

    You do what you need to do, share what you're ok with sharing and know that you are the good stuff, my friend. The really, really good stuff.

    I'm thinking of you often, and sending the very best to you and yours.

    And one of these days? Thrifting and ice cream, girl. You and me.
    xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh jenny frecklewonder, I love you for saying this. and thrifting and ice cream= yes please. that would be a dream. xoxox

      Delete
  3. Just a piece of advice from someone who has been in that state of too much pain circulating around inside my head: get yourself a blank book and write down EVERYTHING ... the good, the bad, the painful. Someday that book will show you that you can survive anything ... you can cope with anything. It's less painful when you move the words out of your head onto a piece of paper (doesn't have to be internet-ey paper).

    BIG HUGS.

    Barb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that is an excellent idea, my friend. I do have a moleskine that I keep with me always but I have to be honest and say that I haven't been writing in it lately. haven't been writing anywhere. probably time to jump back in. thanks so much for the kind and encouraging words. xo

      Delete
  4. take you time friend. the words will come and we will be here to listen {well read}. xoxooxxoxo thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks so much, wendy. means the world to me. and then some. xoxoxoxoxo

      Delete
  5. there are times in our lives where happiness again seems almost impossible. but it'll come again. take care and hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. this post just made me love you 100 times more.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i love you however you show up in this space.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hello :)
    your blog was really awesome,
    you really have a good taste at photography .. I love photography too
    and I love photoblogging .. heheh :)
    wanna visit me? http://sweetlittletalk.blogspot.com
    well, mine was not that good as yours .. followed you .
    wanna see more from you :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your post reminded me of photos I took eons ago, back in college in NYC, of a graffiti writer in the Bronx. I'd totally forgotten about them - thanks for bringing back the memory.

    I'm sorry to hear that things are rough right now. If a beer and a crepe at Le Happy would help, or some goodness from Salt and Straw, or sitting on a sofa watching a sunset over the west hills... say the word and I'm there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. you are such an awesome person and i hope things get better for you. i love reading your blog and seeing your photos. you are so talented with both. big hugs and sending lots of good vibes your way. :)
    -Tina

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sending loving thoughts your way. Be brave my sister - but if you need a shoulder or a listening ear, know that I am here.

    P.S. I got excited by that photo. I just started using that brand of paints for my sculptures!

    ReplyDelete
  12. i love everything about this.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm sorry things have been rough. Sending positive thoughts your way <3

    ReplyDelete
  14. sorry to hear about the roughness friend. <3 it's been said a million times in a million different ways, but isn't life odd, how it can be so devastating and so beautiful all at once?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Such a beautiful image, Andrea. I hope life's edges have worn down a little since you wrote this. But if not, that's okay too. :)

    xoxo
    cortnie

    ReplyDelete
  16. sending you grace to face those hard things in life right now... xo

    ReplyDelete
  17. One of the things I love about about blogging is when you can't find the right words and so you toddle off to visit one of your fav bloggers in the meantime...then discover they've got the words sorted for you. That happened to me re: paragraph 3 in this post. Thanks, Andrea and I hope the hard times resolve themselves soon xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is why I began blogging oh-so-long-ago. I needed help finding the bright side of life, I was under so much darkness and stress and heaviness. And my needs for the light and the bright wax and wane. Sometimes I get so sick of the pretty escapism too and I want to be Real With People. Sometimes I can't deal at all and take a huge blogging break. The important thing is not to judge how you use your space. This is your corner. And the people that have formed around your space can handle whatever you put into it, this is one thing I know For Sure after almost 6.5 years of blogging. We will be here, we will read, we are not going away because we love you Andrea!

    ReplyDelete