16 January 2019


blue room

books I'd like to read/re-read in twenty nineteen (in no particular order):

feel free (zadie smith)
electric arches (eve l. ewing)
the complete persepolis (marjane satrapi)
the heart is a lonely hunter (carson mccullers)
how art can make you happy (bridget watson payne)
on composition and improvisation (larry fink)
tar baby (toni morrison)
bird by bird (anne lamott)
it chooses you (miranda july)
pride and prejudice (jane austen)
the making of great photographs (eamonn mccabe)
just mercy (bryan stephenson)
the poisonwood bible (barbara kingsolver)
slaughterhouse five (kurt vonnegut)
salvage the bones (jesmyn ward)
literacy and justice through photography (wendy ewald)
12 years a slave (solomon northrup)
the suffering of light (alex webb)
if beale street could talk (james baldwin)
pachinko (min jin lee)
the accidental (ali smith)
the great gatsby (f. scott fitzgerald)
the nature of photographs (stephen shore)
new and selected poems (mary oliver)
one hundred years of solitude (gabriel garcia marquez)
rabbit: the autobiography of ms. pat (patricia williams)
the interestings (meg wolitzer)
sights in the city: new york street photographs (jamel shabazz)
my year of rest and relaxation (ottessa moshfegh)
text me when you get home (kayleen schaefer)
vivian maier: the color work  (colin westerbeck)
photographers on photography (henry carroll)
I was told there'd be cake (sloane crosley)
the south in color (william ferris)
east of eden (john steinbeck)
becoming (michelle obama)
portraits (william eggleston)
zoli (colum mccann)

15 January 2019


things overheard over the course of two hours at a mcdonalds on a tuesday afternoon:

"listen I don't mess with no white bread"
"grandpa, the sun makes the sauce look shiny"
"does that beeping ever stop"
"lemme tell you how to keep that thing from catching fire"
"nuggets nuggets nuggets I love nuggets"

14 January 2019


things donald trump has forever ruined for me:

the color orange
the word 'tremendous'
red baseball hats
america, probably

13 January 2019


three songs currently on repeat for me:

agape (nicholas britell)
blue in green (miles davis)
two of us on the run (lucius)

12 January 2019


things I wish I'd find outside on the ground right now:

maybe a little bit of money
definitely money
but also, snow
I'll take snow, I don't even care about the money now
just, snow

11 January 2019


things we are doing tonight on this glorious friday night:

playing charades, horribly
playing charades, hilariously
watching old snapchat videos of me as a bee
making teeny tiny hot fudge sundaes that fit inside a spoon
figuring out how we can all sleep down here in the living room 
wondering what we should binge watch
wondering where all the leftover christmas candy is

10 January 2019


things I cannot bring myself to do, part one:

take the christmas tree down
make an appointment to see the dentist
delete my mom's number from my phone

09 January 2019


things I want to remember about today:

the sun like honey in our bedroom this morning
the way it felt to sit and talk and laugh and drink coffee with my friend
the color of the beets in my bowl at lunch
blood oranges in my grocery cart (thus, a little surge of joy)
paper whites in my grocery cart (thus, a little surge of hope)
ezra in the car after school, giddy, talking about a poem he wrote
ava in the kitchen with me tonight, cooking onions and garlic and tomatoes in olive oil
ezra just now, standing in the doorway of my bedroom, still talking about his poem, still

08 January 2019



films loved in twenty eighteen (sure to be revisited again and again):

phantom thread (exquisitely brutal/brutally exquisite)
tully (there's a line in this film about parenthood so steeped in truth it made me cry)
the fits (wholly hypnotic, still thinking about it)
won't you be my neighbor (he was my childhood, and he was radical, he really was)
eighth grade (painfully lovely and cringey and real and heartbreaking)
mid90s (certainly not without flaws-- I mean, none of these films are-- but I just, I love this film so much)
roma (I believe I've made my thoughts on this film quite clear)

07 January 2019



films seen in twenty eighteen (the order in which they were seen):

call me by your name (luca guadagnino)
mudbound (dee rees)
the shape of water (guillermo del toro)
the post (steven spielberg)
the family fang (jason bateman)
brad's status (mike white)
I, tonya (craig gillespie)
phantom thread (paul thomas anderson)
black panther (ryan coogler)
the disaster artist (james franco)
a quiet place (john krasinski)
disobedience (sebastian lelio)
tully (jason reitman)
the fits (anna rose holmer)
tag (jeff tomsic)
sorry to bother you (boots riley)
won't you be my neighbor (morgan neville)
eighth grade (bo burnham)
oceans eight (gary ross)
last flag flying (richard linklater)
hearts beat loud (brett haley)
hot summer nights (elijah bynum)
mid90s (jonah hill)
when the levees broke: a requiem in four acts (spike lee)
joan didion: the center will not hold (griffin dunne)
private life (tamara jenkins)
isle of dogs (wes anderson)
roma (alfonso cuaron)

(holy wow, that's a crapload of male directors)

06 January 2019


reasons I'm too tired to make a list tonight:

all the fresh air I took in, which made me glad to be alive but also, tired
all the time I spent at target trying not to buy all the things
all the time I spent deliberating what list to make and post here

05 January 2019


color//colour red

things you should do on a saturday morning:

but mostly, nothing

04 January 2019



things that got me through this week:

the red cardinal outside my window on new year's eve
the moment ward woke me up to look out the window on new year's morning
all the leftover christmas cookies
the leftover tortilla soup too
showers at night in the dark
the way it feels to shoot with a completely different camera
the bright yellow tumeric tea I've been drinking
an unexpected game of charades
an unexpected package from my friend tracy, bursting with happy
the making of a new book list
waffle house waffles, just before midnight
the looking back
still with all the looking back

03 January 2019


books loved in twenty eighteen (sure to be revisited again and again):

sing, unburied, sing (jesmyn ward) (the way she puts words together makes me want to lie down on the floor and cry like a baby)

the shell collector (anthony doerr) (an extraordinary book filled with extraordinary short stories that had me underlining words and sentences and entire passages right and left)

half of a yellow sun (chimamanda ngozi adichie) (I fall deep into her stories, her characters, deep, deep)

catalog of unabashed gratitude (ross gay) (if I could wear his poems like perfume, I would)

there there (tommy orange) (polyphonic and beautiful and so incredibly important)

diane arbus: in the beginning (diane arbus, jeff rosenheim) (I saw this exhibit back in the summer of 2016-- it left me speechless and I wanted the exhibit book for all the reasons you want an exhibit book after you've just experienced an exhibit that leaves you speechless. but really, I wanted the book for one photograph and one photograph only. I couldn't afford it, I can never afford the exhibit books. that's just the way it is. I've never forgotten that photograph, though. and then I was recently gifted this book by my better half and when I opened it up, there it was-- that photograph-- and it still moves me just as much as it ever did. but what I love more than anything, maybe even more than that one photograph, if I'm honest, are the lists. diane arbus made lists. messes of words scribbled in pencil. and they live on the pages of this book and I can't stop looking at them, I cannot)

02 January 2019



books read in twenty eighteen (the order in which they were read):

alias grace (margaret atwood)
the hate u give (angie thomas)
sing, unburied, sing (jesmyn ward)
we were eight years in power: an american tragedy (ta-nehisi coates)
wise blood (flannery o'connor)
march: book one (john lewis, andrew aydin)
march: book two (john lewis, andrew aydin)
march: book three (john lewis, andrew aydin)
anonymous: enigmatic images from unknown photographers (robert flynn johnson)
cat's cradle (kurt vonnegut)
prayer: 40 days of practice (justin mcroberts, scott erickson)
a little life (hanya yanagihara)
the sun also rises (ernest hemingway)
to kill a mockingbird (harper lee) 
every day is for the thief (teju cole)
so you want to talk about race (ijeoma oluo)
on photography (susan sontag)
the shell collector (anthony doerr)
beautiful ruins (jess walter)
photographic: the life of graciela iturbide (isabel quintero)
roadside america: architectural relics from a vanishing past (john margolies)
half of a yellow sun (chimamanda ngozi adichie)
the redemption of galen pike (carys davies)
I'm still here: black dignity in a world made for whiteness (austin channing brown)
catalog of unabashed gratitude (ross gay)
dear friend, from my life I write to you in your life (yiyun lee)
the mothers (brit bennett)
chronology of water (lidia yuknivitch)
exit west (mohsin hamid)
how to love the empty air (cristin o'keefe aptowicz)
where the line bleeds (jesmyn ward)
a confederacy of dunces (john kennedy toole)
girls standing on lawns (maira kalman, daniel handler)
there there (tommy orange)
diane arbus: in the beginning (diane arbus, jeff l. rosenheim)

01 January 2019



on this first day of january:

sunrise, welcomed
photograph, taken
coffee, consumed
new day, considered
new year, considered