04 January 2007

the first year ever


collage for week #1, from the list

sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store, I watched the people go in and out. there was the man with the slumped posture and sad eyes carrying a bag full of pink carnations. the slick-looking man dressed in chocolate browns from head to toe, smoking a cigar. and the woman with jeans so tight she could barely walk in a straight line. I try to look and really see. and I like to write. when I'm sitting in the car like that, I like to paint a little, paste things. I read. I listen to music. I take photographs. I think about things and I'm quiet.

this is when I am most creative-- in the middle of the afternoon in a parking lot while ezra naps. it's unfamiliar territory to me but I'll take it, I'll take it when I can get it. I used to be a hardcore night owl, the juiciest parts of my creative self only making appearances after the midnight hour. I just can't do that anymore and can barely stand to admit it. every once in a while, I'll feel the surge of something electric and I'll stay up all night to see where it takes me. those impulses are growing dim, though-- as if my brain has a hand on a dimmer switch somewhere inside my head. suddenly, sleep seems like the smart thing to do. sleep is no longer the necessary evil I used to see it as, but the gateway to bright eyes and patience. to health, energy and daytime creativity.

if I have any sort of new years resolution at all, it is to honor that creativity whenever it comes, whatever form it takes. this is the first year in many, many years that I haven't made any real resolutions. because they're almost always the same and by the end of the year, I find that I've won a little, lost a little. I am the queen of breaking even. I have absolutely no intention of breaking those standing resolutions, I'm just not going to make a big deal about them like I always do. for the next 365 days, I'm going to try to work my way through the list. I want to continue to look and see and write, to paint a little, paste a lot. I would like to listen to music and take photographs and think about things and be quiet. and when I'm not in the car waiting for children, I want to move my body (dance) and be loud and joyful.

and sleep.

17 comments:

  1. oh, yes- honor that creativity... it is so important to keep us going. It helps keep me grounded, like I am meditating and letting my mind focus on just that one thing, the creative process...
    go for it girl!

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  2. and you will...all of it.

    Check your mailbox starting Saturday. I have a little way in which I believe I can help winging it's way through the post straight to you.

    :)

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  3. love love LOVE this journal entry!!...i have made my own resolution to do a collage a day for one month (to get started) - we shall see how it goes!

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  4. Whenever you want to visit Howard Finsters garden let me know, it's not far from both of us. Its a magical place...

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  5. take it where you can get it - if that's not a good philosophy i don't know what is....

    honestly i think you are creative every second of the day. i think it's just your nature... xo

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  6. yes! i feel this too, this need to shoehorn more creativity into my life, whenever and however i can get it :-) thank you for such an inspiring post xo

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  7. I love this collage. Actually, I find it visually exciting and I like how it looks like you - like your home and your fun personality...
    I could relate to what you said about no longer being a night owl. I always saw it as a necessary evil too yet I have realized just how out of sorts and short tempered I get without it. I also realized that I look better if I am well rested too.

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  8. i love to paste into books myself. i also love finding creative moments where ever they may appear. i've got standing resolutions, like wearing makeup that aren't so special, because they are safe and i always do them. this year i want more.

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  9. I like to paint and glue stuff too.

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  10. sleep is good. it is funny how much more sane i feel when i get yet how i too fight it.

    your creativity and your list inspire me!

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  11. oh good luck andrea - you know i'm in the same boat - and too, can hardly handle the late nights anymore....look forward to seeing your creations!

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  12. i've never thought about using my in-the-car time as a time to be creative...good idea...

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  13. Love the collage--and appreciate your encouraging and inspiring words about the creative process. Thank ya'!

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  14. If you're a night owl and your creativity is naturally strongest at that time then why are you fighting it in the name of convention? I'm guessing that probably family members have had something to do with your change ("Why don't you be like the rest of society and go to bed at a normal hour?"). Is your creative output as high on your new schedule? If not I would recommend telling people who tell you to go to bed to "go f their bad selves" and find a schedule that is meaningful to *your needs* first and foremost and let the rest of the world figure it's confused conforming self out. And if you haven't read it, I highly recommend the book "The Artist's Way". Take care and best wishes to you and your creativity. :)

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