yesterday, I let ezra run around diaperless until he pooped on the floor. this would be okay if we were in the midst of potty training but alas, we are not. no, I was deep into the wonderful world of fred flare (creating a christmas wish list, natch). apparently, the only thing capable from ripping me from that world was the hearty declaration of poop on the floor.
and then later on that afternoon, while both ezra and ward were napping, I fell asleep watching an HBO documentary on eating disorders. which, again, would be perfectly okay if I had not awakened to find ava watching the tail end of it (yes mom, I know-- the very reason we shouldn't have HBO in the first place). I have no idea how long I slept or what she actually saw or if it made any sort of impact on her at all. I downplayed my reaction and asked the smallest amount of questions as she seemed completely unaffected. frankly, I can think of worst things for her to have seen, but still. I found the whole thing horribly, horribly troubling.
and then I threw a fit when we decided to spend saturday night at mcdonald's. normally, I'm quite skilled at masking my disappointment in these situations (particularly where the kids are involved) but something about saturday night and the thought of those unhealthy happy meals and all those screaming kids racing through the tunnels of the playplace... I don't know. so depressing. before I knew it I was yelling something about how there were going to be apple slices ordered instead of french fries (wow, I'm so tough) and how everyone better eat every last apple slice OR ELSE. or no playing on the slides! OR NO MORE MCDONALDS. EVER. and then I pouted for a very long time.
last night I had a dream about a giant orange sea creature trying to devour my children. that's WHAT I GET.
no, I'm not going to win any motherhood awards. not for my saturday shenanigans, anyway.
oh wait - your HUMAN?? really???
ReplyDeleteandrea... at least you can laugh at yourself and your "mistakes"....
xo
I wouldn't worry too much about Ava watching that documentary. The chances are, she didn't really get it and so had her own ('safer') interpretation of what she was seeing. When I was young, for example, I thought that the Simplicity towels advert on TV was for bath towels. It never occurred to me that there was another kind of towel.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my parenting world, pull up a chair and while you're at it get a cocktail!!
ReplyDeleteYou're a great mama Andrea so it's comforting to hear that someone else has a day like this now and again.
smooches!
Okay ... so good of you to share this.
ReplyDeleteJust this weekend I was getting Ava ready for bed and we went in to say goodnight to everyone. The boys were all watching The Family Guy. Before I realized it ... I found myself holding Ava who was enraptured with the "cartoon" on the tv ... and I started recounting all the things that she had heard already and what was she going to do with that information? I'm sure she heard some words she shouldn't have heard and saw somethings she shouldn't have seen.
Geez.
I felt like crap and then found myself wondering about the impact ... the impact.
Ugh.
Needless to say, I understand your feelings.
"well, i'm not going to win any awards"
ReplyDeleteyou might for your writing. i love how your words flow. so unpretentious too.
ahh, i had some shenanigans myself this weekend involving moving and losing my patience. thank you for your honesty and sometimes you just gotta laugh.
ReplyDeleteI had "The Girls Next Door" on only for a split second and two impressionable boys walked in the room just as one of Hef's girlfriends stripped down to nothing (to iron her dress, how proper of her). I had a moment of panic as NONE of the buttons on the remote worked to change the channel and pixalated boobs are still naked boobs...it was a nightmare.
ReplyDeleteI also saw that documentary (it was very good) and quite deep, I'm sure Ava went unaffected. I had to pay VERY close attention to understand all that was happening. Funny story though.
Wow...wow...wow...I'm glad I don't have kids. You guys are brave. I don't know if I could take the guilt of a little mind being impacted by such phenomena as McDonalds, eating disorders, and "adult" cartoons.
ReplyDeleteHow do you do it?
I can just picture the "apple threat"! I am smiling...
ReplyDeletewell done witchy poo! just imagine how boring your children would be as adults if you didn't them at least a little something to kvetch about every now and again.
ReplyDeleteand i feel you with the tights. i've got one particularly pernicious pair that i gave up on altogether. i stuffed them with paper from the shredder and let the cats have at them now. the tights deserved it.