18 April 2007
because I'm tired of unpacking
and I'm tired of talking about The Big Move. I mean, I'm still all about the nesting and the exploring. I'm high from it, I swear-- the new girl buzz is a sweet one, the sweetest. though I find myself stuck for words. or too tired for words. or maybe too overwhelmed. ward asked me last night when I planned on writing again and I was all 'oh, I don't know. soon. I don't know. I don't know what to write about.' which, of course, led to a conversation regarding just how much there is to write about: our trip cross country, my love/hate relationship with walmart, the relevance of modern dance in a post postmodern world, the proper way to eat a leftover marshmallow peep, my obsession with mos def. all worthy subjects, all begging to be delved into and sorted out in a pithy sort of way.
I started to write last night but trailed off. not unlike like when you are saying something and you start to fade out because somewhere along the way, you lost conviction. or interest. the sentence is not even worth finishing and you know the person you're talking to has already mentally checked out anyway. and then there's all the sadness happening and I can't even begin to imagine, I can't. the weight of what has happened makes my words look and feel ridiculous. and disrespectful. my heart goes out to all and I pray whenever I think of it.
I started to write again today-- something about ezra and the importance of messiness and freedom and finger-painting. something about how I've carefully controlled the mess-making and how I think I might be stifling him. I'll get back to that, I will. I had a light bulb moment and there are a couple of photographs to prove it. it's important to me, I plan on revisiting it. just not now.
then I talked to my sister-in-law this afternoon and we were catching up and commiserating over an assortment of things (you know) and I told her that I thought it might be time. time for a meme-- something silly, something easy, something full of useless information. I remembered seeing one a while back (late one night when I so obviously should have been unpacking). lovely marigoldie led me to this odd one and well, my mind and mood are ripe for it and that's that.
feel free to answer along in your head, because you know you will. you can't even help yourself. these kooky kind of diversions are impossible to resist.
james brown or marvin gaye? both fantastic for various reasons, i.e. brown could move but gaye had the voice. even so, I'll take curtis mayfield, please.
chinese or indian takeout? chinese. I like to pretend that I can efficiently eat with chopsticks. also, I'm a sucker for fortune cookies.
fleece or knitted blanket? knitted. handmade warms a person in altogether different ways. though I do enjoy saying the word 'fleece'.
girls with makeup or without? I would love to say girls without because I think that (in theory) it's a very cool thing. though I just can't subscribe to that brand of hypocrisy-- the plain truth is that I am a girlie girl. I love products and clever packaging and glosses for lips that taste like cherries and mint and stuff that stains your cheeks post-sex pink and contraptions that curl your lashes in a most seussian way. still, there's such a thing as balance. right on if you rock it without make-up. skin needs to breathe and a girl needs a break.
costco or whole foods? whole foods. even if it is infinitely more expensive.
wildflowers or arrangements? wildflowers, for sure. hand-picked, stems crusty with dirt.
tradition or shakeups? it must be known: I am the keeper of traditions in the family. honestly, I'm a little tired of being the tyrant of traditions. I just might be ready to give up the crown. which, by very definition, is a shakeup situation.
cello or trumpet? cello.
watch-wearing or no? hooked since my very first snoopy watch back in 1978. oh, but I am so hard on watches. they fall off my wrist and get lost or mysteriously stop for no reason at all. the bands break or the faces pop out. I am always looking for a new watch and wondering what terrible things I do on the daily to make my watches so readily jump ship. what gives?
salt water or fresh (for swimming)? salt water. even if it does sting your eyes and make you choke. heaven help you if you've just shaved your legs or torn open a scabbed knee. still, I choose salt water. it gives my hair a lovely gritty texture and a sensual sort of waviness. it makes my skin glow and feel all soft and peachy-like. plus, there are the waves. and that spectacular feeling of forever.
pants or shorts? I look horrible in both. absolutely horrible. skirts (and dresses) until the end of time, people.
chatspeak or absolutely NOT? no. though I am prone to the occasional omg.
digital camera or old-school? couldn't live without either one. that said, digital photography has changed me in profound ways.
wireless or plugged in? wireless. currently without it and so not liking it.
waltz or tango? waltz-- if you do it right, it's like the best swing at the park or your favorite carnival ride. you don't ever want to stop.
brian williams or anderson cooper? oh I don't know. anderson cooper maybe. but only because he's the son of gloria vanderbilt. the absolute best day of my junior high life was when I scored a pair of gloria vanderbilt jeans and wore them to school. seriously.
time or newsweek? time. I think.
waterbed or mattress? um, mattress. though what I really want is one of those adjustable craftmatic beds, have you seen those? OR I'd settle for one of those super-cushy foam things that lays over the top of the mattress. just so I can put a glass of wine on one corner and jump like crazy on top to see if it stays put.
cream and sugar or not? I think I might be the only thirty-something woman in the city of portland who does not drink coffee. I'm even a little embarrassed to talk about it-- like when I am sheepishly forced to admit I can't sew. I am the daughter of two serious coffee drinkers and the scent of it makes me pretty happy so I don't really know what happened there. guess it just didn't take. I have the feeling that I wouldn't be able to stop if I ever started.
CNN or BBC News? BBC, absolutely.
iTunes or something else? iTunes.
scented candles or unscented? this meme is starting to bore me.
prairie or mountain? prairies-- for the wide open feeling and the flowers.
socks or barefoot? oh, barefoot. I'm a barefoot kind of girl. 22 years of modern dance will do that to you.
matt damon or ben affleck? matt. cutie von cutington and he tends to make much better career choices than ben. not that I even care that much or anything. I don't think I ever quite got over that character that ben played in dazed and confused. plus, he'll never live down the whole bennifer thing. NEVER.
brass or pewter? really? it's like the scented candle question all over again.
wool or cotton? cotton. cotton means summer and floaty skirts.
willow tree or pine? both-- pine for the scent, willow for the poetry.
gerald ford or jimmy carter? jimmy. you can never go wrong with mr. jimmy carter. I am, after all, from atlanta, georgia.
france or italy? italy. because of hanging laundry (like this). and colors (like this). and venice. and little fleamarkets like this. plus: fields of flowers like this. and of course, the alleyways and fountains in rome. omg, and the food. and the siestas. and the language. head over heels and forever in love with italy.
electric or gas stove? I've had both and can confidently say that a gas stove reigns supreme.
thrift store or outlet? I cannot imagine a life without thrifting.
japanese garden or english garden? english. all those purples and rosy reds growing wildly through the cracks and crevices of cobblestone. I recently read the secret garden to ava and now we look for possible candidates everywhere. we get especially excited when we discover one that seems to fit the bill. a visit to the japanese gardens might be necessary, though-- just to balance things out a bit.
sophia loren or liz taylor? people, please. sophia loren. a thousand times over, sophia loren.