06 March 2007

still here



I never wanted to stand still so much as right now. I want this part to be over but I know that once it is, we will be gone. I dream of a fast forward button for my own life (doesn't everyone?) but I know that would be the most tragic sort of mistake. to not feel it, not walk through it-- this is what softens the edges of who we are.

sunday was a good day: a big party where the love was overflowing and the important people of our lives came out to dip strawberries in a big chocolate fountain and hug us and say goodbye. thank you, family. thank you, thank you, thank you.

monday was a bad day: not really anything I want to talk about but there was an hour at the end of the day where I sat in the dark and made this. which is funny because I am craving stillness. even in my deep need to be still, I find extraordinary peace in movement.

14 comments:

  1. Hang in there. I feel sad reading this. I know your move will be bittersweet while filled with anticipation of all that is to come. The act of moving (packing, loading, unloading, boxes, purging) sucks and yet just remember - it will be over eventually. I love your flickr set. It's beautiful and magical.
    I wrote a post about movement the other day with you in mind...

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  2. that picture is beautiful. i'm praying for you during this time. i know the absolutely mixed emotions that come with it. I'm so excited to see your incredible journey unfold.

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  3. Hugs to you. I know how hard it is to leave behind one life, even though the new one has so much promise.

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  4. I can't say I know exactly how you feel since every move is different (I did a big one last summer, but we were coming home after moving away as wild youths), but I do know that jumble of conflicting feelings. It's painful. But it's adventure and change, which makes it worthwhile. Best of luck.

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  5. You are beautiful, strong, magical, and living a great big REAL life. Sometimes safe is stuck, my friend. So spread those gorgeous glittery wings and trust the universe that your net is in place.
    Much love (and thinking of you each and every day),
    Les

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  6. i know you aren't really moving away from me but i still feel the sadness of a friend moving away. maybe because knowing you were in the ATL, where there was a chance for a visit on the way to see my family and that will be different now. or....maybe it's just because it is such a big move. looking at your movement set on flickr i felt like i was seeing a montage of your blog over the past few years. it is so nostalgic and lovely. it seems to capture your essence. i am just thankful for the internet and the fact that really because of that.... you'll be just as close as ever

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  7. You're embarking on a big adventure and I'm so excited for you. I know you'll make it all come together. You'll be okay...lots of people care about you.

    I dig your photoset meditation on "movement" during your transition. So many colors in your life!

    Sure wish I could've been there for your going away party like how ya'll came to mine. I'll never forget it!

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  8. I love your new flickr set and while the move brings a cache of emotions and goodbyes are never easy, you are on the horizon of big things dear one. xo

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  9. Hugs and good thoughts! xoxo

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  10. yes... hugs... you will make it.... you will

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  11. i could just tear up at your post; because i remember our big move across the big ole country to another coast. we were so excited to be somewhere new, & yet, really sad to leave our community of friends & family -- it's been almost 6 years, we thought we were coming back in 2; but we stayed! i still miss the daily-ness i had with my old community...& it's been a slow process of finding a new one here. but you know what...you will find beauty & change & growth & stretching & amazement on the other end too. you will.

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  12. I know EXACTLY what you're feeling; I was going through this a couplpe of months ago. But you're writing it down and taking pictures...it will be gone but you can record the final chapter and read it later. Moving is so hard to do.

    I love this image so much. It really captures the feeling.

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  13. "Be close to your servants
    who are moving to a new place
    and who ask for your blessing.
    Be their shelter when they are at home,
    their companion when they are away,
    and their welcome guest when they return."

    bless you! bless you! here and now in the midst of this motion and commotion as well as in all the wonder of life's new adventures to come.

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  14. Oh, I feel your pain--goodbyes are so, so hard. It'll all be worth it, but right now, it hurts. Let it, for now.

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