15 August 2006

self portrait #32

self portrait august is all about enclosed spaces. I'm a tad claustrophobic but really, I have nothing against elevators.

high time for a meme and I took it upon myself to bite this one from the lurvely michelle (though meridith, cat and madness have all had memes that were for the taking, memes that were of the utmost freshness). sharing random information like mild claustrophobia and indifference to elevators puts me in a fine mood for meme-doing:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:

"during those months, while the city was gripped by an infernal heat wave, a serial killer later dubbed 'son of sam' stalked and killed young people". (from the 2000 lonely planet guide to new york city)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can...what do you touch first?

an enormous pile of clean (but unfolded) laundry.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

an episode of the comeback which I TOTALLY love. why do they always cancel the good shows? why?


4. WITHOUT LOOKING, what time is it?

7:18 p.m.

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?


6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

ezra's bubblegum voice and the faint rumbling of his quick little feet. also, the fan over the oven. I burned dinner.

7. When did you last step outside?

a couple of hours ago. it was pouring down rain and I ran outside to cover the sandbox while ezra watched in absolute awe from the window. mommy saved the day! what can I say? I'm living the dream, people.

8. What are you wearing?

an old black leotard and cut-off sweats.

9. When did you last laugh?

about an hour ago when I answered the phone. back story is: my cel phone is a piece of trash that emits mysterious static for no apparent reason. if I hold my index finger on the strange button on the back, the static disappears. for some reason, I refuse to buy a new one. so when my brother called me, he asked: did I have a brushfire going over at my place, what's with the brushfire? he always asks me this because it sounds like I'm talking through the high-volume crackle of a serious brushfire. this always makes me laugh. something about the way my brother says things makes me laugh-- that deep kind of laugh, the real kind. I won't go into it now but something he once whispered to me in church made me laugh so hard that I began to snort uncontrollably. I was snorting because I was trying NOT to laugh thus the laughter came out of me sideways and with an unstoppable force of (most appropriately) biblical proportion. you know how it goes. I couldn't stop with all the snorting, I couldn't breathe and the harder I tried, the worse it became. I convulsed and snorted my way all through the prayer and the closing songs and am quite sure all two hundred and some people heard my rapid-fire snorting.

10. Seen anything weird lately?

last week while I was driving downtown atlanta, I saw a chicken wandering alongside ponce de leon avenue. two minutes later and about a half mile down the street, I saw a woman shooting up.

11. What did you dream last night?

I dreamt that I was wearing a chartreuse polyester wedding gown with a princess neckline and tangerine-colored feathers attached to the hem. there were plastic socks on my hands. I was at the piggly-wiggly grocery store, buying box after box of fruity pebbles cereal, jugs of clorox bleach and big mama pantyhose. everyone sang to me as I walked down the aisles, everyone. I had the feeling that they all loved me, that they had come to the piggly-wiggly to see me and only me.

oh, not really. I'm just free-styling. sadly, I can't remember last night's dreams.

12. What's on the walls of the room you're in?

school maps, framed photos of the kidlets, of me and ward, of places we've been, places we want to go. and a (harmless) bug.

14. What do you think of this survey?

me likies.

15. What's the last film you saw?

little miss sunshine, which I really really REALLY loved. I have been waiting for this film all summer long and when it finally came to town, I was there with bells on, bells all over the place, bells for days. let me tell you-- the theatre was crowded saturday night. you know why? because there has been nothing but crap crap crap all summer long, hollywood crap pummeling us from all directions. there's no escaping the cinematic crap that continues to infect us, one by one until we are all starving for a microscopic nugget of something good. the people came out because the people wanted to see something different, something good. the people, they know what they need. and the film, it was what they needed. it was good-- great, in fact. fantastic, even. sure, it had some flaws but I'm not about to complain-- that's the most I've laughed in a movie theatre in a looooooooooooooooooooong time. (watch the trailer here, if you so desire)

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

a completely restored (but carefully preserved) authentic villa in the tuscan region of italy (fully staffed, of course) whereupon I would spend as much time as reality would allow. I would invite all my friends and family to visit and eventually retire there. retirement includes (but is not limited to) me wearing the finest silk muumuu money can buy, me riding a rickety old pink bicycle with a rattan basket to the nearest outdoor market to buy my produce, me making crusty collage after collage outside in the sun, me dancing randomly and freely, me and ward together-- grouchy and tender. and grandchildren that come to stay with us every summer for two weeks and a grown-up ava and ezra begging me not to wear the silk muumuu.

an extremely close second: old school B&W photobooth. and then I would have a big party so that everyone could come over to get in the booth and take as many strips as they wanted. there would be a most magnificent band (I'm thinking along the lines of the roots because I do so adore questlove) and a thousand glowing paper lanterns hanging overhead and red velvet cake for everyone.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

I have strong pessimistic tendencies. also, I think I prefer to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. it's just too much to do it all in the shower. I want to get in there and rinse the grit off and (maybe) shave my legs and get out. in the sink, my hair gets all the loving attention.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

honestly? well. I kind of really pretty much sort of don't like white people. I am white people, I know that-- so many of the people I love are white. I guess I'm talking more about whitey, so let me rephrase it-- there are a lot of white people that I find hard to love. maybe because I'm white and I see what they do, I see how they act, I know what they think. more accurately, I'm strongly opposed to hatred based on race and I realize this goes in all directions, all ways, upside down, inside out and across the board, I do. so if I have to choose one thing to change: I'd eradicate racism. a little pollyanna, yes, but it must be said: the world would be a better place. pollyanna or not.

19. Do you like to dance?

I'm going to have to say yes. yes, I like to dance.

20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

if there's another: vivi or ruby.

21. Boy?

if there's another: choochi rodriguez.

22. Would you ever consider living abroad?

absolutely. ABSOLUTELY.

more self portraits are here and here. thanks for indulging me, y'all.


  1. firstly...i LOVE your dream about the piggly-wiggly. hee...even though it is made-up...

    secondly...i LOVE that you made that dream up!

    and. i love washing my hair in the sink! i did it today when i got out of the shower and realized that i hadn't washed all the conditioner out of my hair...and i thought "this really is nicer to do it this way". and then funny, i read your blog...

    lastly...can i come and live in italy with you? i will entertain your kids and teach them...although, i may have to bring my shorties and my husband, too. is that ok? paul can take you on a tour of the wine country and tell you about all of the italian varietles.

    or. can i come to the photobooth party? and still bring my shorties and paul?

    lemme know the dates.

  2. ok, that was pure joy to read. i think i want to do the meme too, but i am going to have to let your perfection not intimidate... here's hopin'.

  3. Love those shoe, girl. And such a great meme (the answers make is really awesome! ;)

  4. Very nice meme and I love the picture. Shoes like that make the world go round!

  5. that's a great meme! I might hafta try it, with all my....superfluous..time.

  6. That is one serious dream. Wow. I'd like to hear some analysis on that ;)

  7. I love this!!
    (does the loney planet book mean you might be planning a visit?)
    your wit flys off the page...love getting a peak into your brain!!

  8. lovin your dream of the villa in tuscany. i'm right there with you. and love the name ruby. so fun!

  9. um the last time i laughed was your made up dream!

    great photo w/ your cutie petutie feet


  10. I stole your meme. Whatdoyouthinkaboutthat.

  11. Holy shit - what a great meme. You had me laughing so hard. She said, I hate whitey. I just spit some water on my computer. And free stylin the dream? So hilarious. And Choochi Rodriguez Jenkins?? I'm almost willing another male child on you . . . Oh god, I love you girl.

  12. this is super fun, b-girl:)! it's all so wunderbar! i've come up with dj names/album titles and even gone so far as to make up my own kung-fo breakdance mooooves! can't wait to gruv with you again sooon! heart:)

  13. you take the best pictures- I love this, and the shoes
    the meme is cracking me up- the part about the dream- wow she not only takes photographs in color but she DREAMS in wild and crazy colors.


  14. you are so lovely. it makes me a little jealous :)

  15. Loved your meme so much I just had to play! Your take on the world cracks me up (as usual)! Now go find that chicken!

  16. Steal away any ol' time, girl. I am a world-renowned meme burglar, so I have plenty of black market stock for you to choose from.

    Dude, Chooci Rodriguez caused the all-too-rare REALLY LOL.

    I am/hate white people, too, so I know exactly what you mean.

    Ponce de Leon, it is a very um, colorful street, non? And yet, I love it! We get lost there every time we are in town.

    The wedding dress in your piggly wiggly fake dream was obviously designed by Vincent!

    Oh yeah, one last thing: Step off Questlove, wench, he's mine!

  17. OMG, I forgot the funniest part. I had a totally wacky dream a couple of nights ago that I was in the ATL (with no explanation, just pure, magical dream logic) and you and I went to the movies and saw Idlewild together. It was giggly, buttered-popcorn blast. Unfortunately, though, Andre 3000 did not show up at the movie theater.

  18. Soooooooooooo interesting! I love to read your blog! You make my day!

  19. So here is how I am...I find your meme two days late, I immediately steal it for my thursday post, I quickly delete all of your answers so I WILL.NOT.BE.INFLUENCED, answer the questions (which takes freakin' forever), go to post and *!#@** comcast won't let me get online, finally get it up at 5:00 pm which totally messes with answering the time question, go to see Little Miss Sunshine (holy mokies do I agree with you or WHAT?!) without knowing your answer mind you, then come home and finally read your answers...dude, if you were a boy I'd totally marry you (or vice versa - you can pick). And then forgot to comment here. And thank you for the meme in the first place. Or tell you that your feet are hot. Or congratulations about gettin' picked for SPC becuase you totally deserve it because that photo is super super great.

    Now I need a nap (but have to come up with a PBF).

    I think I have some issues.

  20. first of all, big thanks to everyone for the great comments. you're all invited to the villa in tuscany AND my big photobooth party. details to follow. xo

    kathleen-- I've made a conscious decision to only wash my hair like this from here on out, seriously. I never get all the conditioner out when I'm in the shower! and heck yeah, come on over to italy! oh, for my bebes to have a teacher such as you... we should be so lucky.

    stephanie s-- oh, do it! do it! I'm nowhere near perfection and once you get going with this meme, I think you'll surprise yourself.

    teri m--- the shoes are from target! ah, my old friend target.

    acumamakiki-- you're pretty great with the memes yourself.

    katiek-- yeah, I just know you're up to your ears in free time, right...? heehee. still, would love to see your answers to this one.

    barb-- I'm not sure if you saw that I totally made this dream up. just for funsies and because I couldn't remember my dreams. would still like to have it analyzed, though. I'm sure I need it.

    wendy-- oh, I wish I was coming up there! seems like I'm always 'vaguely' planning a trip to nyc and then something comes up (ha, like moving to a new house) and it gets put off. but one of these days... I'll email you!

    lisa-- girl, I love that I made you laugh with my made up dream. going to have to do that more often.

    glam jo-- what do I think? I think I'm pleased as punch that you stole this meme. because I stole it from someone who stole it from someone (and so on and so on). you know I can't wait to read your answers, sister.

    madness-- not that I want you to ruin your computer or anything but dang, girl. I consider that the highest compliment.

    dopeattic-- well, now we've got to get together because I've just got see those kung-fu breakdance moves. I know they won't disappoint, what with you and your super-creative mind.

    nessie noodle-- thank you, dahlink. I made this particular dream up but I do dream wild and crazy like this. maybe not so detailed, but still.

    sweetney-- aw shucks, girl.

    justin-- can you see that chicken on ponce? somewhere near fellinis. isn't that the craziest? crazier even than the woman shooting up, I think.

    oh michelle-- thanks for letting me join in the thievery. nothing better than a little meme thievery, I say. yes, ponce is a very 'colorful' street and is the lifeblood of the city (if you ask me). if you're going to get lost on a street in atlanta, then that's the best one. and yes, my wedding gown probably WAS designed by vincent and can you even BELIEVE that he did not go wednesday night? I've lost all faith in the show. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THOSE JUDGES? that was just nutty, that was nuttiness is what that was. of course, maybe I feel this way because I have the biggest girlie crush on allison ever. but then vincent has consistently designed crap so, no. I think I'm right. and girl, I will FIGHT TO THE DEATH for the likes of questlove. (hey and not like you don't have anything else going on in your life or anything but come on over to the ATL and let's make that giggly popcorn idlewild dream thing a REALITY)

    dad-- thank you. I love you for always commenting here.

    and LES-- I love me a girl who will go to such lengths for a meme. yes, we would be quite the happy couple... but then, I already knew that. you did that meme up right and I'm heading over to your place to leave a nice long-winded comment (just like I've done here, ha). smooches right back at ya.

  21. Ok, like the pic of your mom and 7th grade you, but what I'm really trying to figure out is how I can get on the friends and family list for that villa you're going to buy. :-)

    Please send hints.