15 August 2005

kindergarten

I watched her this morning, standing in line. she was wearing her new pink converse high tops and so proud to be carrying her hello kitty backpack and lunchbox. wide-eyed and quiet like the rest of the children she stood next to, waiting to walk inside the old brick school to start her very first day of kindergarten. just thirty minutes earlier, she had been giggly and excited but now she was quiet. she glanced back at us and I felt at once a mixture of panic and pride. I felt I might run screaming towards her for one last hug, one last pep talk. instead, I stood silent, watching and waving, smiling. the air was balmy and thick (even at eight in the morning) and my skin was beginning to feel sticky. I could feel my eyes getting all watery and I looked down so she would not see this. there she goes, I thought. off into the big bad world. and I prayed that she would make at least one friend today, that she would have no encounters with mean kids, that she wouldn't feel so scared and unsure.

I am counting the minutes until 2:45.

20 comments:

  1. oh, i got all teary-eyed reading that! i know that's how it's going to be for me- a catch 22. you want them to make friends and be kids and learn.. and you want them to stay babies and need you for all of their needs.

    good job, mama. :) i can't wait to hear how it went!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so proud of you both. I know Ava will do well and have tons of fun stories for you at 2:45. I'm counting down the minutes too! I'm here for yoU :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought of y'all this morning - early. Didn't want to call but my mind - and my heart - were right there, too. I may have to drop by this afternoon to hear the story of her first day at kindergarten!

    ReplyDelete
  4. i can't believe this has come so soon! you guys start the school year early. oh andrea - i feel for you guys! WOW! how scary, exciting, sad, sending these precious babies into the socialized world! i am not looking forward to that big day (well i am - i guess "torn" is the perfect word to describe it). oh please let us know how her first day went!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have no doubt that she made more than one new friend today.

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMG- I just got choked up reading that- all the memories of my "first" time with my son last Fall came rushing back...and next year it is my littlest babies turn..I'm gonna be a mess. Thanks for sharing- we moms can identify!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a great post! Amanda and I don't have kids yet, but I'm already dreading the moment we have to let them go... your post just gave me a glimpse of my future. I'm going to be a basket case, I just know it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Is it time to go back to school already?!?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Little A, such a big girl now. I can barely leave luxie in the nursery at church for an hour, so hard to believe we have to trust them to the world eventually. Your words were so real. Such a big girl now, yet still so young and innocent.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Found you through Big Happy Fun House.
    Your post brought tears to my eyes. I cried when I took both my kids to their forst day. Now my son is going into grade 4 and my daughter into 2 and I still cry.

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh my gosh. I can't imagine. Very well written- i was there! How did it go?

    ReplyDelete
  12. this is so sweet and real, thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm both scared and excited for Ava... Great adventures await her, and the world is lucky to have her. Makes me feel very emotional! Good job this morning, An. You sent her off strong.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I found your blog today, because somehow you found mine...glad I did! You are an amazing writer! Tell me you're working on a book?! What a great story about sending your daughter to kindergarten, just proves that there's no way I'm ready for that trauma yet! :)
    Molly
    http://mommycoddle.typepad.com/

    ReplyDelete
  15. as a little kid like as an adult, I guess I said the hect with other people, somehow made acquaintances not friends-got hurt by them, but more excited about the beautiful enticing colors and smells of school-new crayons & textbooks-those rocked! I took solace in the above, learning, and my cool lunch box holding the major fixer upper of all-food, maybe that's part of the reason i'm an emotional eater. The pretty good years, and the air-oy! thanks for the reminder and walk down memory lane! Eva is going to be so proud & excoted of all the cool things she gets to learn, make, and share with you, your husband, and teach her brother.

    ReplyDelete
  16. In two short weeks I'll be dropping Lexi off for her first day of pre-school (with her Hello Kitty back pack!). I can identify as I get all teary just thinking about it. Yes, she currently goes to day care everyday...but that's with Auntie Pam...pre-school will be a while new experience for us all.

    Congrats on such a milestone. I hope Ava had a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  17. thanks so much, everyone... these encouraging comments have provided me with much comfort the last couple of days (seeing as the transition is in full swish now). as for an update on how the brand-new school girl is doing... well, she's loving it (at least, so far) and has been excited to get up and go each day. I realize that her enthusiasm may eventually subside, so we're enjoying while we can. she only reveals bits and pieces about her day to us when she feels like it. she didn't make any buddies the first day but made a friend today (her 3rd day)... seems to be learning all kinds of fun things. pics to come soon. thanks so much again, for all the sweet words.

    and yes, I also think august 15th is WAY too early to start school... it's practically the middle of the summer! I swear they're slowly preparing us for year-round school. I am so not down with that.

    ReplyDelete
  18. how fun! kindergarten was a fun time for us!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can't stop the tears as I write and my heart yearns for that little girl! What a precious little girl! Thank you, Lord, for this blessing from You! We pray for her everyday!

    ReplyDelete
  20. As a mom and grandma, I feel your pain and pride! It's one small step into the unknown future! Keep praying.

    ReplyDelete