thank you

super gigantic thank you to everyone who came out yesterday to support that sweet girl of mine, to ethelkays grilled cheese for hosting (and really, for going waaaaay above and beyond). and to everyone who has bought prints so far, to everyone who left kind, encouraging words here. thank you, thank you, thank you. that ava? she's walking on clouds. and quite frankly, so am I.

and now we are paris bound.

because, yum

see anything you like here? I'm talking to you, portland.

my friend julie's dream was to open a grilled cheese food cart  and that's what that girl done went and did. best grilled cheese (and lemonade) in all of portland, maybe even in the state of oregon and I am not even blowing smoke here. you think I have to say this because she's my friend and all but I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING AROUND. grilled cheese sandwiches so good your knees will buckle. lemonade so perfect, visions of it will dance in your head while you sleep.

and this saturday, half of all lemonade sales will go towards ava's trip to paris! regular lemonade, raspberry lemonade and rumor has it, marionberry lemonade. also, ava's prints will be for sale. also, grilled cheese. GRILLED. CHEESE. 

so if you're local, come on out:

ethelkays grilled cheese and lemonade
4549 NE 60th, portland (duh)
saturday, may 25th, 10-4

p.s. thanks so much for buying prints, friends. ava has been walking on clouds lo these last twenty-four hours and my mama heart has officially burst wide open.

the one where ava gets to go too

paris. ava is coming with me to paris. 

initially, this was the plan. it's what irene wanted, what ward and I wanted (well and you know it's what ava wanted) but the circumstances, they flipped and they flopped and for a while there it just didn't seem possible. though the more we thought about it, the more we talked about it, the more we realized just how important it was that she do this, how major it'd be for her to come with me-- to connect with kids from a different part of the world, to explore what it means to see the world differently. and then, paris. to experience paris, one of the greatest cities in the world. 

these are the kinds of experiences that crack a person wide open, that change you forever and even though it seemed financially impossible (and impossibly impractical), we wanted to give her this. more than anything. so we decided we'd do whatever it'd take to make it happen. and now, thanks to irene (and a few other key people), it's a done deal. still, there's a boatload of work to do. and so ava has thrown her proverbial hat in the ring. 

for a limited time, prints of her photographs will be for sale in my shop and all proceeds will go towards the cost of her end of the trip. these are images (the images you see above) that have been carefully selected by her and friends, SHE IS EXCITED. that someone might actually buy one, that someone might actually want to own one. it's been a lovely, heartbreaking sort of thing to witness and of course, my mama heart wants to burst into a thousand pieces. instead, I'll just try and hold it all together while I pass along along the necessary information:

to purchase one of ava's prints please go {here}

(local portland people, there will be an extra special opportunity for you-- more on that tomorrow)

sundays (18/52)

sunday, may 5th: scenes from the alameda flea with miss mati (due to a last minute turn of events, whence I found myself in oakland for work for about five minutes).

how bout last minute trips to the fleamarket (which, to me, feels a little like a jackpot lottery win). how bout I am almost caught up with this here sundays thing. how bout it's monday and I'm just happy to be alive.

INSTANT NOUN

bay area peoples! excited (and honored, so honored) to be a part of this upcoming polaroid show, curated by the infinitely rad lisa solomon. stoked to be showing alongside some of my absolute all time favorite instant photographers but also? this will be ava's first show. I am bursting. bursting, I tell you.

show opens friday, june 7th at rare device and, in conjunction with the show, I'll be teaching an instant photography workshop! to take place at rare device (natch) on saturday, june 29th from 2-6pm. registration details forthcoming, so if you're interested, stay tuned.

sundays (13/52-17/52)

(13/52)

14/52

15/52

16/52

17/52

sunday, march the 31st: plaster easter eggs in baskets inherited from the great basket collector (aka my mother), daffodils plus ridiculous/golden/magic/buttery light, breakfast just before church and my friend julie with the most perfect easter dessert of all time, forever and ever amen.

sunday, april the 7th: decorated easter eggs, one week later. stinky. but sweet. but stinky.

sunday, april the 14th: freckles. my goodness with the freckles.

sunday, april the 21st: living room, rearranged. plus the day I wasn't feeling it.

sunday, april the 28th: magic park time, a sidewalk masterpiece, the cusp of thirteen and my favorite kind of shadow.

five sundays! five! bits and pieces all smooshed together in one big lovely jumble. and now I am almost caught up. almost.

that's how the light gets in

the truth is that I can't wait for this to day to be over. three hours, forty-three minutes and it will officially be over. I know that's not what I'm supposed to say. it's certainly not how I'm supposed to feel. but there it is. first mother's day without the extraordinary woman who brought me into this world and the minutes are crawling by.

I want one more mother's day with her. one more chance to tell her how much I love her. one more chance to spoil her with fancy face creams and papery pink peonies, with little things for her collections and bright yellow boxes of candy dots and handmade cards. actually, I want more than one more mother's day with her. I want all of the days, all of them. I know I can't have them but I want them.

I would be remiss if I did not mention how hard my own little family tried to make the day just a little bit softer for me. fresh cut tulips, watercolor paintings, hand-drawn portraits. cupcakes. photobooths. still, the day has been wobbly, at best. I knew it, they knew it. what else could we do but muddle through? the best gift I received came just after lunch, in the form of a small, sweet hand in mine. I'd turned away so they would not see me cry and both of them came to me, both my kids, and they sat there in that pain with me while I told them. in a small voice that did not even sound like my own, I told them. I miss my mom. I just really really miss my mom.

I told them I was sorry I'd been so grouchy and so quiet, that I would try not to be grouchy and quiet for the rest of the afternoon. which is when the day broke open a little, just enough to let a little light in. and you know, it's true what they say about the cracks in things, that that's how the light gets in. it's true. because that's how we got through today. that's how I'll get through these last few hours.

and I will say it, even though she can't hear me. I will say it every year that I'm alive, I will say it because I can. happy mother's day, mom. I love you.

finding your photo style

hey peoples, honored to be a part of an upcoming six-week online workshop devoted to finding your personal photo style. I'll be teaching alongside five other incredibly lovely photographers and I'm telling you, it'll be chock full of good stuff. if you're just starting out or you struggle with carving out an individual style, this is the joint for you.

clickety-click here for more information.

I do have a little bit more up my sleeve in the way of announcements and such. upcoming shows, workshops, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. things be cookin. but first things first and not at all at once (lest I meet myself coming and going). stay tuned.

sometimes photographs get lost

but that's okay. because sometimes you find them just when you need them. I don't know why but I needed to see this photograph today. I needed to see all those little green and yellow bricks stacked just the way they are. I needed to remember that things usually come together just the way they're meant to.