back soon

am currently having an adventure. which has everything to do with number 16 from the list. back soon, friends.

part one

to get on a plane and fly south, to step out of the car and onto the beach, to smell/taste/touch familiar air, so sticky and sweet. oh gulf, I have missed you. to blow through six packs of polaroid film in two days, to wear sandals, to work with shiny people, to drink mexican coca cola, to work with my brother. these are luxuries. I know this to be true.

p.s. there's a nice story behind how we found the orange VW bus.

flight 749

I squeeze past him and he doesn't even look up. which is fine with me. when I'm flying, I keep to myself. I always ask for a seat by the window and I say as little as possible to those around me. I do not invite conversation. I turn my body towards the small oval window and slip my headphones on. I line up potential reading material, I organize snacks. I look out towards the wing of the plane and pray that it does not fall off while we are up in the sky.

forty minutes into the flight and we are still pretending we are not sitting next to each other. he asks for a tiny bottle of jack daniels and a can of pepsi. he chases it with a pinch of tobacco which makes the air between us smell sour and acidic. he seems mildly agitated with everything around him. there's a thin, steely layer of something akin to anger just beneath the surface of his skin, I can feel it. he asks for another miniature bottle of jack daniels and mixes it with watered down pepsi. he downs it and closes his eyes. he is the kind of man who enjoys magazines like maxim. he eats lunch at hooters. he tells his girlfriend she's put on a little weight even when she hasn't. he is this kind of man, I am sure of it.

across the aisle are three loud twenty-something girls who cannot stop talking about some party. she was like and then I was like and then she was all and then I was all and we were like I was like he was like she was like. I cannot tell where one begins and the other ends. they are a fabulous tangle of diet mountain dew bottles, great lash mascara and people magazine. I am fascinated and see a former version of myself in them but the girls, they are killing him. they are killing the small bald man who sits next to me. he has no patience for these kinds of three-headed creatures, pretty as they are. finally, he dozes off. he snores quietly while I look out the window. below us, the land is laid out like mismatched linoleum tiles. I marvel at the sight of this. my ears start to pop and I know we are getting closer. closer to land, closer to home.

we land and right away, half the passengers on the plane stand up. this is when I realize there are two types of people: those who stand as soon as the plane lands and the seat belt sign goes off and those who don't. I get swept up in the anxiety of the moment and stand up too. I wonder what this accomplishes. what is the thinking behind this? obviously, the standers want to be first to grab luggage from the overhead bin, they want to be first off the plane. they have jumped to their feet before the appropriate time and they avoid any sort of eye contact. they pretend to look bored, annoyed, anxious. on the other hand, the sitters look content. as if they know something the rest of us don't. there's really nothing to be gained from standing the minute the seat belt sign goes off. standing doesn't guarantee anything. the sitters know this. I decide I don't want to be one of the standers. I want to be a sitter. I sit and immediately feel better. the small bald man next to me is standing, of course. he's got one hand on the overhead compartment and is poised for action. this is when I notice his hands. he has nice hands, tan with veins that protrude in a way that suggest strength. I begin to look at him differently. maybe he doesn't tell his girlfriend she's fat. maybe he leaves her love notes on the night stand. maybe he reads the new yorker. maybe he faithfully eats lunch at the small family-run deli on the corner everyday. maybe he is kind-hearted. maybe.

I wait until most of the people have gone before I start to gather my things. I take one last look out the window and silently thank the wing for not falling off. I am one of the last to make my way off the plane.

ear to ear

I'll have you know that I was all set to break from list-making for a while. I do believe I've developed a bit of a disorder. but then melissa went and tagged me and I'll not say no to melissa because she makes excellent scones and has cute babies that I like to pretend are mine.

six that are smile-worthy:

1. sushi bar conveyor belts and video cameras. I cannot stop watching this. I am in love with it and would like to hole up in a dark room with it and watch it until the sun comes looking for me.

2. husbands who find things you thought you lost forever.

so ward gave me the most fantastic ring for my birthday which of course, I promptly lost. because somehow, I am able to hold onto every last cheap, crappy ring I own but the minute I receive a gorgeous handcrafted piece that feels as if it was designed especially for me, I lose it. I lost my first engagement ring too. yes ma'am, I certainly did but that's another story. but then, over a belated valentines dinner last week, ward said hey, lookie here and there, in the palm of his sweet hand, sat said lost ring. and the heavens parted and the angels rejoiced, I swear it. he'd found it in the trunk of the car a few days back and decided to save it and surprise me with it at dinner. I have not taken it off, not even once because honestly, I'm just trying to enjoy this ring before it inevitably slips off my finger and falls prey to the curse of andrea, the girl who cannot hold onto pretty rings. I figure I have a couple of weeks. a month, tops.

3. pink balloons that don't die.

there's a pink balloon in my room and it will not die. not that I want it to die, but it's been two weeks and shouldn't it be dead by now? really, it should be somewhere near the floor looking sorry. instead, it continues to hover shyly over my side of the bed and let me tell you, it's as pink and buoyant as ever. I've taken to calling her pinkie and I'm rooting for her to make it. I really am.

4. collaborations with siblings.

I'm collaborating with my brother on a project of his this week. this is big news, this is great news but also, this particular collaboration requires me to get on a plane and fly someplace warm and near the ocean. I leave in about 24 hours and am still in a state of disbelief.

5. ezra's word for tights: sockpants. I'm sorry. I know I've mentioned it here before but I can't help myself.

6. orange ranunculus. omg, orange ranunculus, I love you.

and speaking of list-making, joslyn over at simple lovely recently invited me to put together the list of all lists. if you're not totally sick of me and list-making, you can read it here. oh, and christina, I'm officially tagging you. your world is filled with all kinds of smile-inducing sort of stuff. I know that for a fact.

photobooth friday

dear uncle von,

me and the kids, we've been talking. we're feeling a little down. here's why: we're here, you are not. we think you should move here. we think you and portland could really be good together plus we need you. we miss your endless supply of coins and your excellent school of pool. we miss the way you consistently allowed yourself to be climbed on, jumped over and tackled. we miss the marathon mac photobooth sessions and the genuine enthusiasm you had for the very legendary playmobil hospital. we miss the music from your pink phone and your very contagious late night ways.





personally, I miss all the movie-going (which promptly ended for me the moment you got on that plane back to new york). honestly, I don't know what was more memorable-- watching godfather II at the old hollywood theatre with you or the walk back home afterwards. then came man on wire on new years day (which, okay, you sort of had to talk me into) but you were right, you were so right about that. best film ever to see on the first day of a new year. I'm sorry I doubted you because you know, we will surely be talking about it when we are 100 years old.

mostly, we all just really miss you so please make the necessary arrangements and move here already. and please hurry as we are currently in great need of shiny coins and new music.


xo

you know who


p.s. all the cool bikes are out here. you know I'm right. also, we have annie's donuts.

number six

dancing lions, flying yo-yos, candied mango, pale pink blossoms, shiny red envelopes, small pots of tea, fortune-telling boxes, tiny bridges, hanging lanterns. I'm telling you, I am a sucker for such things.

number six crossed off the list and the rest are calling. the year stands before me like a giant sun.

around the corner

let me tell you, I'd like to peel off my sockpants and hurl my big brown boots across the room. I'd like to run free. I think my skin would thank me and perhaps throw a wild party in my honor. sockpants= what ezra calls tights. and that's just what they are. very tight pants made from hot, sweaty socks.

ah, spring. to shed said sockpants. to wear something floaty, to smell like lemons and sugar.

also, I hear good things about the flowers. word on the street is that spring is good for flowers. I'm hoping that's true.

for your listening pleasure

if it were possible to fall in love and marry a radio show, I would. this american life, will you marry me? I would like to spend the rest of my life listening to you. please say yes.

about a month or so ago, a good friend asked me to recommend a few episodes and the following list is what I happily sent his way. these are my favorite acts, my top five. these are the ones I can listen to over and over and over. the links take you to the pages and the pages list episode descriptions. each episode has three different stories/acts. the option to listen to each full episode is just to the left of the descriptions. I've listed specific acts here and you might want to skip forward to the ones I'm talking about. or not. I'll say this: if you're looking to get lost, today is your lucky day.


episode 323: the super, act two (super duper). because it's the best snowman story ever. and when I say ever, I mean ever.

episode 192: meet the pros, act one (crispy with the rock). because I was born and raised on basketball. and because there's a line towards the end that really does something to me.

episode 347: matchmakers, act three (babies buying babies). because you must hear it to believe it. at first, you will probably laugh. but then you will want to cry because you won't want it to be true.

episode 173: three kinds of deception, act three (accidental deception). because this lil froggy is ripe. that's all I'm going to say.

episode 218, act V. because. just because. but also because it's brilliant and beautiful.

38 things to do before I turn 39

1. roller skate backwards.
2. shoot with the yashica.
3. visit canada.
4. cultivate a collection of found paper.
5. purchase a pair of rain boots.
6. celebrate the chinese new year in a garden. done
7. learn to embroider.
8. write one sentence everyday for a year.
9. take on the bins.
10. visit velveteria.
11. renew my passport.
12. take class at dance new amsterdam.
13. wander aimlessly. done
14. hit up the waffle cart on north lombard. done
15. take ava and ezra on a photo walk.
16. celebrate with nancy and kristy.
17. hike wahkeenah falls.
18. read five books.
19. make key tag jewelry with ava.
20. spend the night in the backyard.
21. fill a book with collages.
22. map out a photobooth crawl.
23. ride my bike along the eastbank esplanade.
24. wreck a journal.
25. finish the strangers project.
26. photograph von's studio. done
27. walk across the st. john's bridge. done
28. load up the polaroid automatic 100. done
29. have a bowl of pho on 82nd avenue.
30. orchestrate something awesome.
31. beat ward at pacman.
32. spend an afternoon at skidmore fountain.
33. teach ezra the rerun.
34. take back the basement.
35. fill a jar with magical thinking.
36. make (and film) a dance. done
37. finish the unfinished.
38. bake a pie from scratch.

today

hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

martin luther king jr.

photobooth friday

this is the one where we squeeze into the booth on a cold thursday night, right after the eating of much frenchness but right before all the red velvet birthday cake.



and this is the part where I talk about how much I miss my mom.

on deck:

a new list for a new year.

the quest for a new photobooth plus how uncle von went on to become the stuff of which legends are made.

happily happily

two things today:

1. happily listening to an old favorite over and over.

2. happily planning a class I'll be teaching at squam in september.

I'd love to see you there, if you are so inclined. cardboard and old cameras will be involved plus an abundance of forest-wandering. it might also be like a big slumber party except I promise not to put toothpaste or shaving cream in your hair or color in your entire nose with a permanent black marker like my cousin did to me in the summer of 1984. I can, however, promise you a great deal of that thing they call fun. fun fun fun whether you take my class or not. because squam? pretty much the cat's pajamas.

louder, please

become big and write with the whole world in your arms.

(natalie goldberg)

37 things (or, the good that slipped in through the back door)

in the spirit of last year's list, I give you this: an ode to unpredictability. a new list. a collection of the unintended, the unplanned. one that commemorates the unexpected little (and big) things that happen over the course of 365 days. I'm not going to lie, it hasn't been the easiest year. in fact, parts of it have been so painful I can barely stand to speak of them. but this is how you get over, you make a list of the good.

these are things that snuck up on me from behind. these are things I never really saw coming. in my 38th year, I:

1. found the most perfect pair of socks ever.



2. made it through my first portland winter.

3. learned to work my camera manually.

4. watched the urban bush women from the nosebleed section.

5. saw my photographs and words in print.







6. fell head over heels in love with a lens.

7. fell head over heels in love with a hammock.

8. marched in a parade.









9. said goodbye to the company that brought us out here and hello to a better life.

10. stumbled onto the most beautiful display of photobooths in the history of the world.



11. picnicked at the top of mt. tabor.



12. constructed a robot cake.



13. picked strawberries from our own garden.



14. stood on the hood of a car parked on the side of a ridiculously dangerous highway and photographed fields of sunflowers.



15. had my hair blown willy nilly whilst riding the ferry with leslie.



16. traveled along the edge of the pacific ocean and fell in love with the 101.

17. watched ava learn how to ride a bike. was there the moment ward let go of the back of her seat. watched her pedal off in the most heartbreakingly wobbly and triumphant way.



18. stood on the burnside bridge and watched the fireworks.



19. collaborated with the birthday girl and pulled off perhaps our best party yet.



20. rode my bike to the local farmers market.



21. tie-dyed 88 pieces of fabric for 88 kids in one hour.



22. got hooked on sugar cane lemonade and empanadas, the likes of which can only be found at a restaurant housed in what is surely the brightest colored building in all of portland.

23. introduced the kids to dairy queen dilly bars.



24. fell madly in love with ten tiny dances.



25. stood barefoot in a rose garden with mati and kelly rae.



26. found myself right smack dab in the middle of a lovebomb.

27. discovered magnificent manzanita, found starfish and anemones hiding in the tide pools at short sands.









28. watched belly dancers jiggle and undulate on mississippi avenue.



29. watched b-boys spin and flip at the mister's first solo art show.



30. saw my first double rainbow.

31. spent an afternoon wading in a spectacular public fountain.



32. spent an afternoon wandering through a quiet orchard.



33. spent time with so many rad women. all of them, terrifically lovely and amazing. fantastically extraordinary, fabulously gloriously marvelous. luminous and brilliant, radiant and remarkable women. absolutely inspiring, each and every one. so totally and completely awesome. I mean it, so awesome.

34. went a little bananas over an old polaroid camera.



35. was treated to dinner prepared by the best chef in portland.



36. visited the museum of giant shoes.

37. learned to love 82nd avenue.