twelve

well, twelve rolled around last week. twelve. and the day was met (head on, mind you) with donuts, balloons and downtown adventures. the maudlin me wants to get lost in talk about change. about long, spindly legs and bright eyes. about neon earrings and the sharing of shoes. about first dances, first loves, first everything. the maudlin me could go on for hours like this.

I so clearly remember twelve. plus thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and so on and so forth. but twelve. twelve is at the edge of so much. I know this now. I can see it and I can see her, perched right there at the edge. all I really can do is hold her hand (if she'll let me, less and less she lets me) and see her through to the other side of things. which is where? college? adulthood? wherever it is, all I can do is see her through. and I will tell her this when I can and she will roll her eyes sometimes and I'll wince but I'll tell her anyway. because she'll need to hear it. just like I needed to hear it, just like every girl needs to hear it.

oh, twelve.

last call

supper happy 2-for-1 sale over in ye olde etsy shop ends tonight at midnight PST, yo. or whatever your midnight is. just sayin.

instant illinois

so I decided to save that limited edition pack of nigo PX 70 color shade/color frame for something special. something special= summertime in illinois/summertime at my mom and dad's house/summertime with cousins. glad I waited. so so glad.

super happy time

unofficial biannual super happy 2-for-1 summer sale, peoples! buy one print, get one free. buy two, get two. buy three, get three and so on and so forth. aaaaand new prints have been added to le shoppe. you know, for fun. here's how it works: order the print (or prints) you'd like and then, in that handy dandy 'message to the seller' section, specify which print (or prints) you'd like as your freebies. special runs five days only-- today, july 23rd through saturday, july 28th. included in each package: a little extra special summer something. because it's summer. and I think you know how I feel about summer.

list forty-two: things I miss

surely I'm forgetting something:

1. rotary phones
2. lightning bugs
3. first kisses
4. polaroid film
5. new york city
6. dance class
7. my old body
8. sunshine, heat
9. the golden age of hip hop
10. the atlantic ocean
11. the kids as babies
12. fleamarkets with my mom
13. rides in the blue bambino with my dad
14. summers at the american dance festival
15. downtown cincinnati
16. back handsprings
17. slumber parties
18. snail mail
19. lauryn hill
20. fellini's pizza
21. camp with my cousin
22. weeks with great aunt louraine
23. RC cola in aluminum cups
24. tuesday nights at star bar
25. the backyard hammock
26. grandma corrona's bread
27. dancing with friends
28. atlanta, georgia
29. my childhood

the good and the alive

I stumbled onto a graffiti writer in an alleyway once. in that meaty, bright-colored san francisco other world they call the mission. I was careful not to disturb him but I wanted to watch. I wanted to shake all those paint cans, every last one. I wanted to ask questions, wanted to take a hundred photographs but I didn't. I barely managed the polaroid.

I think about that moment a lot. I look at the polaroid and remember everything. the smell of the paint, the sound of the aerosol, the quiet of the alleyway. it's important to me.

there are hard things in my life right now. there are great things too but I need to write about the hard things. I'm just not ready yet. seven years into this space and I'm still defining what it is to me, what it isn't. what I share, what I don't. what I'm saying is that it's easier to share polaroids of ice cream signs and graffiti writers right now. and birthday lists. am working on an epic birthday list because it makes me feel good and alive. and right now, I need the good and the alive.

the one where we all scream

for your monday afternoon, friends. ice cream polaroids I have taken. ice cream cones, ice cream signs, ice cream trucks.

ice cream polaroids= full of win.

from the window of a moving train

portland to chicago! via the empire builder a few weeks ago. two days on the great rail system, forty-eight hours spent looking out the window at a million different things. pretty rad, I tell you. pretty rad.

(somewhere in the great state of washington, along the columbia gorge)

(somewhere in the great state of montana, the great big crazy wide open state of montana)

(sunset in north dakota on the left, sunrise in minnesota on the right)

(the great state of wisconsin, folks)

and then finally, chicago. where we wandered the great hall and wolfed down a few classic chicago style hot dogs before getting on yet another train that took us deeper into the land of lincoln, closer to the town where my folks live. couldn't help but think of last summer, when I dreamt of the sound of cicadas and lightning bugs and thick air.  and now here we are. home.