that time (almost a year ago) when I crossed number 70 off the list and ran willy nilly into the cold, cold pacific ocean. there are no pictures of said miraculous event because one minute I was just sitting there all nice and quiet and melancholy-like and the next, I was running full speed into the ocean. because what happened was that while I was sitting there on that beloved stretch of beach in manzanita, it hit me like a sack of rocks: we're leaving oregon. this might be my last time here, this might be my last chance. I might never be back. so I picked myself up and ran as fast as my stocky little legs would take me, towards the cold pacific ocean and my feet pounded the sand and my heart pounded right out of my body and I felt at once both completely ridiculous and wholly alive.
I splashed around for about, oh, fifteen seconds but that's all it took. willy nilly happens in the milliseconds but lasts forever.