number 13

I did a little wandering through san francisco's mission neighborhood monday morning. which just happened to be number 13 off the list. number 13, indeed. I highly recommend this wandering aimlessly thing.

number 28

a couple of years ago, I found a beat-up polaroid automatic 100 at a yard sale. the viewfinder was cracked and the battery compartment was completely corroded but I figured I could find a way to make it work. then, back in march, miss jenny frecklewonder sent a little package my way. nestled amidst the many vintage treasures inside? a beautiful polaroid automatic 100. in mint condish. fast forward to july and a nervous me holding said camera. freshly loaded, ready to fire. I'll admit, it felt totally foreign in my hands. did I even have it set right? was it in focus? was the light right? and most importantly, would I be able to yank the film out fast enough? first shot out the pack was this one of ava. and well, and that was that. totally hooked. and number 28, triumphantly crossed off the list.

so this one is for you, jenny. I cannot thank you enough.

p.s. I think I might love peel apart film. this should come as no surprise to all you peel apart lovers out there.

number 14

back in may, melissa and her crew of very cute people helped me cross number 14 off the list. which was to consume waffles from a favorite local food cart called the flavour spot. warm waffles folded in half and stuffed with things like sweet cream and jam. waffles meant to be eaten like tacos. madness, I tell you. mad. ness.



but sweeter than sweet cream and jam waffles sprinkled with powdered sugar? yup. lil manny with the blue hat. because that feather is sort of killing me. furthermore, that face has me considering procreation.

warning

for the next ten days, I shall be writing nonstop about a certain list and all the items I've crossed off. plus maybe some I haven't. apparently, I like to cram everything in at the last minute. everything and all at once.

happy birthday, old man

41 looks good on you. like, really good.

number 25

joan from chicago was the last stranger I photographed before I flaked out. see, I thought the project would get easier with time. it has not. the truth is that it got harder and harder until I just couldn't do it anymore. yeah, I bailed. I don't know what happened but a different kind of fear took hold and that's when I ran for the proverbial hills. which is funny since fear was the impetus for the project in the first place.



it was seven months before I was able to talk myself off the ledge. we were downtown seattle way back in february when things started to change. the lighting was all wrong and the timing was strange but I saw this teenager and all I could think about was how much I wanted to photograph him. and that's what I did. I walked up to him, told him what I was doing and that was that. I have no idea where the courage came from. I think maybe I was just tired of being afraid. exhausted, actually. it's exhausting work, fear. it will run you ragged if you let it.



so I eased my way back into the project slowly. a few weeks later, I found myself in a tiny thrift shop in south texas. which is where I met stranger #17.



and then a few weeks later, st. louis and stranger #18.



stranger #19 was oscar. oscar of car lot balloon fame.



in august, I photographed stranger #20. the famous olga from illinois. olga of olga's house of stuff.



and most recently, new york city and stranger #21. better known as sevare, the girl with the electric smile.

at this pace, it will take me years cross number 25 off the list. but that's okay. because I'm not really in any major rush, not anymore. I just want to crack things open a little. even if it takes a couple of years. even if it takes forever.

like mother like daughter

the best thing about today (and tomorrow and the day after that and probably forever) is ava's homemade polaroid camera.



I am ridiculously proud.

hair is cool

obsessed with images of hair these days. more specifically, hair in motion. and while we're on the subject, I'm totally ready to change my own hair. I am not to be trusted around a pair of scissors. and the hair color aisle-- also dangerous. I think maybe I'm about to do something stupid. consider this a thinly veiled cry for help.

1. sarah smile, 2. scene not heard, 3. benita - queenscliffe - 2001, 4. Twitched, 5. Untitled, 6. 0218, 7. in Tiantan, 8. Untitled, 9. Untitled

photobooth friday

one from the archives because it's friday, peeps. photobooth friday. I guess I sort of forgot about you, photobooth friday. and I'm sorry about that. I really really am. but things are looking up for you. I promise.

making me happy in a very photobooth friday sort of way today:

1. these super sweet photobooth frames from claire and elizabeth taylor

2. this clever parisienne photobooth frame from sproutgirl's mister

3. these animated photobooth frames from square america

4. this homemade photobooth from inchmark

5. this very cute photobooth tee from photobooth.net

6. this very cool photobooth book from musee mecanique

7. these amaaaazing photobooth portraits from square america and the henry ford collection

p.s. hello, santa? numbers 5 and 6 were specifically for you.

p.p.s. photobooth friday, I do believe I have missed you.

number 36

number 36 off the list. well, sort of. I should probably explain.

on tuesdays, dance theater workshop asks their followers on twitter to 'tweet one physical movement (or nonmovement)'. the responses are then put together into one dance and filmed. people, this is brilliant. the very idea that these pieces are the direct result of an ongoing dialogue that takes place in the very strange online world that we all float around in is seriously brilliant. the idea that anyone, anywhere, anytime can intentionally contribute to these dances is nothing short of genius. collaboration via twitter. in this way, we are all choreographers. or can be, if we really want to. what I'm trying to say is that I'm in love.

when I put number 36 on the list I'll admit, I had something completely different in mind. but this is better, infinitely better. I had no idea what a rush it would be to see my one word performed in context with so many others. I love the idea that my word was plucked and thrown into a mess of words contributed by a bunch of people I don't know, that these words were then strung together and performed as one big gloriously athletic run-on sentence. I love it. me and the other 29 twitterers I do not know, we are the co-choreographers and collaborators of community choreography #16. my name is even listed in the credits. which makes number 36 official, so very official. for the record, my single action word was dangle. did you see dangle? good words contributed by others: explode, circumvent, rethink, simplify, flap, expunge, rest, convulse. see? good. so good.

check out the first community choreography challenge (or all of them, if you like). follow dance theatre workshop on twitter and contribute to future community choreography challenges. because you and I both know there's a choreographer inside just waiting to break out.

number 27

number 27 off the list and I can't help but feel that time is running out. in exactly one month, I will be 39. I wish I could say that I'm okay with turning 39. but I am not. I am also not okay with heights. actually, I'm horribly afraid of heights. which is sort of why I put number 27 on the list. but also, I love bridges. much as I fear heights, I am in love with bridges. yesterday, when the sun finally came out, I knew what had to be done. ward dropped the kids off at school and off we went.



one foot in front of the other is how I did it. and handrails. the handrails helped. I will admit to gripping the handrails all the way there. well, and all the way back. I will also admit to screaming every single time a semi-truck whooshed past and caused the bridge to buckle. but I did step outside my own completely terrified state long enough to look down at the water, to ooh and aah over the city skyline and the spectacular structure that is the st. johns bridge. with the sun shining on my face and the wind whipping my hair, I crossed the st. johns bridge. and as terrified as I was, I would do it again. again and again.

day five

yes yes, I know. day five of polaroid week like, three days late.



but I never have been one for loose ends so here I am with my final 'roid week offerings. and a sincere promise to hop right back on the nablopomo horse.

day four

check it, here are a few of my favorites.

day three

way back in august, I found myself in manzanita. right smack dab in the middle of another lovebomb.



and because I was caught up in what can only be classified as The Craziest Summer Ever, I never really got the chance to share. after three weeks on the road, I found myself on another video shoot with my brother in oklahoma. two days after I returned home from tulsa, I left for manzanita. one day home from the lovebomb retreat, my pal leslie hit the scene. and then it was the first day of school for ava. and then the first day of kindergarten for ezra. and then it was our 15th wedding anniversary. and then it was squam. and then new york city. and and and. see how nutty it was? nutty, I tell you. I haven't stopped since july. until now.



it feels good to slow down and tell the stories. and these three polaroids, they tell the story. for me, this is what lovebomb was. these polaroids, they say more than I ever could.

('roid week continues)

day two

outside.



inside.


('roid week continues)

hello november

it's the week of the polaroid, friends. I do believe I've been ready for this for weeks now. I check the pool daily for inspiration because seriously, people do not play around when it comes to 'roid week. I mean, really. people throw down. and I love it.

luke and sally

luke, of the skywalker variety and sally from the nightmare before christmas. sort of not kidding around with the costumes this year. the making of sally's dress nearly killed me and this is because I don't really sew. totally worth it, though. and luke wore the wig! I can't believe he wore the wig.



I'd like to think we rocked it this year. that in the midst of all the sickness, somehow we pulled it off. I'd like to think they'll always remember this one.

the happiest halloween ever

because I am no longer drowning in a green fog of sick. banana bread is baking, cider is mulling, pumpkins are glowing and we are slipping on costumes right this very minute.

happy tricks or treats, peeps.


p.s. forever grateful for all the well wishes. thank you.

hello from the house of sick

friends, I have been struck down like a dog in the night. I am buried in blankets and begging for mercy. I want my mother. and a magic pill to make it all go away.

candy

for your tuesday night.

(re)discover

bookmaking plus photography plus embroidery plus the oregon coast = the most awesome retreat ever.

checkit, registration is now officially open for (re)discover, the brainchild of lovely liz lamoreux. four days of old school meets new school meets art-making meets manzanita beach. no joke. totally thrilled to be teaching alongside alicia paulson and stephanie lee. I mean, really. I'm stoked. you know embroidery is on my list, right? plus bookmaking. sweet mary, bookmaking. and manzanita! manzanita is magic, people.

more deets here. only twenty spots available and if I weren't already teaching, I'd be on this like white on rice.

I just really really love this magazine

issue 3 arrived last week and I'm in serious love. inside:



a spread so colorful I sort of want to lick the pages. I'm so crazy about guylaine couture, I don't know what to do with myself.



(more of my gushing on poppytalk, if you can stand it)



also inside: the best old beer can collection ever.



plus, a fantastic piece on pinhole photography.



and a little bit of olaf hajek.



as well as a lovely piece on geninne zlatkis by victoria. I heart victoria.



also, a little something about bicycle rides down tree-lined streets by yours truly.



and a list of the ten greatest male dancers of our time. again, by yours truly.



so much more inside. I mean it. heaps more. get your issue here, friends. in a time when great magazines are dying off right and left, uppercase is a serious breath of fresh air.

dang it

missed friday and saturday. this daily posting gig is sort of kicking my arse. back in a couple of hours with a little sunday something.

number 26

(nate and von)

number 26 off the list and I sort of can't believe it. because when I put this one on the list I thought, yeah. probably not going to happen. this is because trips to new york feel that much more impossible now that we live on the west coast. but sometimes I put things on the list that feel impossible. like number 12 and number 37. speaking of which, I came so close to crossing number 12 off the list while I was in new york. so. close. I can't even talk about it.

but number 26. that's something. and solid proof that there's power in list-making.

new york new york

spending time in new york is a little like stepping inside one of those tiny glass game show booths. where thousands of dollars blow wildly around you as you grab for all you can in thirty seconds or less. see, it's impossible to get your hands on all that cash. and the sooner you realize this, the better off you are. because pretty soon, you run out of places to put all that cash. pretty soon, you run out of time. so you take what you can and you walk away happy. otherwise, you will lose your mind. I had two days in new york. approximately 48 hours to fit in a thousand things. at some point, I had to let go of about 987 of those things. and once I did, breathing was easier. I made my peace with it early on and so my time in new york unfolded exactly the way it was meant to. naturally and without any unecessary push or pull. twas the last day of summer and the first day of fall. I could not ask for more poetic timing. and I took what I could, I did. and I walked away happy.





I spent the last day of summer on the rooftop of von's building, looking out over long island city, breathless over a miniature manhattan skyline. I spent the last day of summer riding clown bikes with my brothers through the streets of queens, weaving in and out of traffic and underneath subway platforms, the deafening sound of trains overhead.



I spent the last day of summer chasing mister softee trucks down broadway. because a cherry-dipped ice cream cone on the last day of summer is the only way to go.



I spent the last day of summer at washington square park, silently rooting for street performers. eventually, I made my way to the land of pretty toy cameras. I visited my favorite new york door. I stopped in at pearl river, picked up a pair of chinese slippers for ava and a wind-up robot for ezra. I was introduced to coconut water. I was confronted with the endlessness of people.



I spent the first day of fall navigating the streets of lower manhattan, armed with my favorite cameras, aka my starting line-up, my a-list players. I spent the first day of fall squeezing into the tiniest booth at the tiniest cafe where the sweetest bottle of mandarin soda was emptied and the best grilled corn in the world consumed. just outside, I photographed stranger number 21. and she was lovely, she was perfect.



I spent the first day of fall in heavy contemplation. new kicks or no? new york, the epicenter of sneaker culture.



throngs of people make for carnivals of overheard conversation. I stopped to scribble down line after line. I bought cheap jewelry off the street. I feverishly added to my collection of found paper. I listened to my brothers talk about computers. I followed von to chelsea where we wandered in and out of galleries.



when it was all said and done, I made my way to the airport. a slow train to brooklyn led me to jen lee's place. and while my sweet friend lovingly prepared lunch (omg, the most amazing grilled cheese sandwich ever), she patiently listened as I babbled on and on about my metaphorical thirty seconds in the glass cash booth.

as it turns out, I made out like a bandit.

page 100

"learn to write about the ordinary. give homage to old coffee cups, sparrows, city buses, thin ham sandwiches. make a list of everything ordinary you can think of. keep adding to it. promise yourself, before you leave the earth, to mention everything on your list at least once in a poem, short story, newspaper article."

from the book writing down the bones by natalie goldberg

what I'm trying to say is

it felt good to teach again. really really good. that's the long and the short of it. I slipped back into a place so familiar it felt as if I never really left. after sixteen years of teaching, I wondered when (or if) I'd ever make my way back. as it turns out, squam was just the place. through the viewfinder was just the class.



and it helps if you have students who are all kinds of willing and open. this is what you really want people to bring to class. notebooks and pencils are good but willing and open? better.



also, props. props are important. it cost me a fortune in extra baggage fees but I do not regret schlepping the yellow parasol, the box of paper straws, the two dozen rainbow bouncy balls, the six bottles of bubbles, several giant pink balloons and countless fakes mustaches across the country. I do not. because bright-colored props make people with cameras happy.







but my favorite part? seeing all those old cameras and newly-constructed contraptions in action. all wonky and bazooka-like. heads bowed, cameras aiming, bodies roaming. the sweetest army, really. my kind of army. to all my squam ttv peeps, thank you. pretty sure you were the best classes ever. and to elizabeth (extraordinary founder of squam), thank you. none of this would exist without you.

(checkit: the squam ttv flickr group plus my original ttv post plus a little peek at where I'll be teaching next)

sunday's list

1. walk outside.

2. stand directly in sun for approximately 2-3 minutes.

3. hurry into house as sky turns dark.

4. wait for rain, contemplate productivity.

5. consume reasonable amount of banana bread instead.

6. unpack suitcases from squam and new york. finally.

7. ignore feelings of inadequacy.

8. press on.

9. marvel at sight of cleared bedroom floor. declare victory.

10. lay on bed, celebrate.

11. spend several hours fulfilling motherly duties.

12. collapse onto big green couch. fall deeply in love with green couch.

13. watch bad horror movie on cable television with husband.

14. regret said decision.

15. suddenly remember daily posting thing.

16. come up with lame list.

17. sheepishly post list 42 minutes before midnight.

hey

(taken with the holga)

it's world toy camera day. totally my kind of day. if ever there was an excuse to organize a parade of plastic happiness, it's today.


(nate with the mini diana)

but there will be no official parade. just me and a marginally covert operation. I picked up a new toy while I was in new york and I fully intend to load her up and take her out. I will be sneaking out of the house and I will be riding public transportation. I will ride until all film is spent and then I will come home and pretend I've been grocery shopping.

and miracle of all miracles, the sun just came out. bye.

humble aspirations

found while thrifting in illinois this summer. naturally, I had to have it. why, you ask? because it totally reminded me of this.

I don't care, I'm starting early

posting everyday from now until november 15th. because I can't wait for the first day of november and the official start of nablopomo. I just can't. I've painted myself into some sort of metaphorical corner when it comes to posting here. high time I bust out. I don't know but something about posting daily gives me the permission I need to run willy nilly with words and images. and I need to run willy nilly. I really really do.

squam

susannah




michelle



it's true, I've been putting off words. the truth is I sort of fell in love with squam. but then, I knew that I would.

friday: red

and then, out of nowhere, hundreds of floating red globes. inexplicably suspended between two buildings. all of them bobbing and swaying in silence, all of them singing my kind of song.

pretty much the highlight of my week.

(many thanks to jan, mastermind behind the sweetest autumn color week ever)

thursday: brown

brown, like music, warms me like nothing else can. brown is my black.

(for poppytalk's autumn color week)